Come on wake up! Man, let’s go, we gotta leave
We gotta leave if you want to get there by two
We’ll beat traffic, so get in the car with me
No, we don’t have a van, but our small car will do
Bags in the trunk, come on son- let’s pick up speed
I know it’s three AM, want to have fun, don’t you?
Don’t wake your sister, everyone still wants to sleep
We’re gonna have some fun on this road trip, WOO HOO!

We have to drive 500 miles
And we’ll have fun, we won’t be bored
We will be that fam who drives for miles and miles
See things have not before

Now we’re driving, just drove into Kentucky
We’ve gone through tons of snacks, made a pit stop or two
Now my honey, can tell she is restless too
Everybody’s getting ancy, what to do?
We could go home (“Dad, let’s go home”), but I want them all to see
Want them to see the things I saw when I was two
My kids think I’m old, but I know they will thank me
They’re gonna say, “Thanks dad for taking us with you!”

Well we have drove 100 miles
And only have 400 more
I will be that dad who brings his children smiles
They won’t think I’m a bore

Are we there yet!? (Are we there yet!?)
Are we there yet!? (Are we there yet!?)
If you ask one more time, I’ll turn this car around!

Are we there yet!? (Are we there yet!?)
Are we there yet!? (Are we there yet!?)
Why don’t you take a nap, I’ll wake you when in town!

Eyes are sleepy, everybody fell asleep
I’m gonna drive some more before I pass out too
Kids were screaming, wrestling ‘round and hit my seat
And I’ve been driving for some time, we’re almost through
The sun goes down (“Dad, where are we?”), in the distance I can see
Can finally see the place, the place we’re driving to
And when we left home(“Can we go home?”), didn’t say where we would be
I told my kids, “Enjoy this singing cockatoo…
I said you’d have a blast, and isn’t that the truth!”

Well we just drove 500 miles
Now have to drive 500 more
We could take a plane and fly those miles and miles
But that would be a bore!

“That was so dumb! (That was so dumb!)
That was so dumb! (That was so dumb!)
We spent three days on the road, heard a bird sing “la, la, la”

Take us home now! (Now more trips now!)
Take us home now! (We won’t go out!)
We drove five hundred miles to see a bird!? That’s dumb!

Cancelled plans now! (Just to go out!)
Friends won’t find out! (Won’t see slide show!)
Would have rather seen that giant ball of twine!

This is one trip (It was so dumb!)
We won’t forget (You had our trust!)
Won’t happen again, there won’t be a next time!

Well, we just drove 500 miles
And I would jump out the car door
And you should do the same if your dad doesn’t say
Where you go, it’s a bore!”