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Song Parodies -> "Cleveland Sucks"

Original Song Title:

"Cleveland Rocks"

 (MP3)
Parody Song Title:

"Cleveland Sucks"

Parody Written by:

Bubba

The Lyrics

With apologies to Drew Carey...
Three! four!
Three! four!
Three! four!

(bunch of ah-ah-ah's here)

All the futility calling me
Back where it comes from
It's such a crude attitude
It's still where it belongs
All the little dearies growing up on Lake Erie goin'
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Same ol' town, same orange and brown, goin'
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks

Mama knows but she don't care
She hates the Indians too
Even with LeBron, she's aware
That the Cavs' suck too
All the little chicks that watch the NFL go
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
They've went to hell, even since Modell, they're goin
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks

We set some records 'round World War II
I don't remember, but my grand dad do
He hates the Browns and I do too
Oh Cleveland sucks, yeah Cleveland sucks
So find some space
Forget first place
And yell and scream some more

Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks
Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks, Cleveland sucks

(bunch of ah-ah-ah's here)

Three! four!
Three! four!
Three! four!
Ohio!

(At least we have the Bengals...)
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.5
Total Votes: 63

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   21
  21
  20
  
 2   1
  0
  1
  
 3   3
  1
  1
  
 4   10
  2
  7
  
 5   28
  39
  34
  

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Hall - November 20, 2003 - Report this comment
It's nice to see the Bengals in first place for once. I was born in southern Ohio, so it is nice to see this song. I hate Drew Carey
Ian Hunter - November 20, 2003 - Report this comment
This wasn't at all what I intended.....
Wild Man - November 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Take it from someone that knows; once you hit the bottom there's no where to go but up. Iiked it, but then, I'm not from Cleveland.
MIchael Pacholek - November 20, 2003 - Report this comment
I was beginning to think you were from Pittsburgh.
Joe Piscopo - November 21, 2003 - Report this comment
Or Joisey, even.
STEEELER MAN - December 21, 2003 - Report this comment
GO STEELERS! CLEVELAND DOES SUCK! GOOOO STEEELRS!
art rooney - March 24, 2004 - Report this comment
the steelers suck, i cant believe me and my family keep dumping so much money into that crappy team.
Ray Lewis - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
You're absolutely right, Cleveland absolutely sucks! Go Ravens!
Cincy Shep - July 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Incredible song! If it's brown, flush it down...... Let me know when cleveland wins a championship in anything
Brian Billick - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I find these remarks offensive, then again I find most any offense remarkable. I would love to remark on my offense but so many find me offensive that it would indeed be remarkable to find ayone that did nto fid me offensive, too. The legacy of the old Cleveland Browns followed to Baltimore as we, too, suck! Baltimore sucks. Ray Lewis is a gang banger that belongs behind bars and oops...I go too far. He's my gangbanger. I love you, Ray, old buddy. But the Ravens still suck. Can I say that. I am known for my brutal honesty, I cannot tell a lie. All excuses aside (and I have many).......Baltimore sucks, too.
danielle - November 14, 2004 - Report this comment
i hate the browns and ihate the ravens. steelers superbowl 2005 <3333
GO STILLERZ - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
i luv this song cuz cleveland suck gracia swallows go Steelers 9-1 wat wats the browns record................exactley
\ck smith[; - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
i jus dropped a major brown in the toilet... hey your team is named after the color of poop.
BOB - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Cleveland sux P.S. i suck 2
Amanda - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Cleveland sucks and smells, too
blitzburghfan4 - January 16, 2006 - Report this comment
yah sure the bungals were in first but that all ended in the playoffs buddy...look whos in the AFC Championship game...steelers are...and for all you who say that was a cheap shot on palmer should fall off the face of the earth
what.....oh ya go steelers - January 22, 2006 - Report this comment
go Steelers leys beet denver!!!!!!!!!!! Denver Sucks! Denver Sucks!Denver Sucks! Denver Sucks!Denver Sucks! Denver Sucks!Denver Sucks! Denver Sucks!Denver Sucks! Denver Sucks!Denver Sucks! Denver Sucks!Denver Sucks! Denver Sucks!
Stiller Nation - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Cleveland Sucks Floppy Donkey Dicks... Yeah Steelers Super Bowl XL Champs... One for the thumb. Cleveland Sucks and Couch Swallows. Drew Carrey can suck on his fat ass. Cleveland Sucks! Cleveland Sucks! Cleveland Sucks! Here We Go Steelers He We Go.
justin - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
im from cleveland this song is gay cavs suck? playoffs indians suck? doin pretty damn good
Rachel - April 30, 2006 - Report this comment
I hate Richmond
Rachel - May 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Madeline Johnson is from Cleveland
romeo crennel - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
i can't beleive i coach suck a horrible team. now if you'll excuse me, i need to finish playing with myself. :)
Paul Warren - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm from Cleveland, and the city Sucks big-time! Our Teams Suck, Our Politics Suck, and nothing happened here positively since 1964. I would move out of my hometown in an instant. We should be called the Mistake on the Lake. Our river caught fire, our mayor's head caught on fire, we're the poorest city in the nation, we caused the 2003 blackout, and we were even the first city after the 30's to go into default! My city makes me sick. They should make an animated TV show about this city because Cleveland's like a combination of South Park and Springfield. And when we get another Hockey team, they should be called The Cleveland Steamers! 500,000 or bust? Blow this city up and start again! I'm going to bust outta Ohio when I graduate from College!
daniel - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
the browns suck but the caves don't they arent great and good is pushing it but they better than the ball team in kansas o wait there is no theam there they moved to my town sac town and became GOOD!!!!!!!!!!
Art Modell - October 25, 2006 - Report this comment
And da bungels suck too!
Steelermania - January 15, 2007 - Report this comment
This was a parody?
brent - March 09, 2007 - Report this comment
ow many of you like rock?
Paul Warren - October 24, 2007 - Report this comment
With a loss in Boston...play that song in Cleveland.
Michael T. Mondak - December 08, 2007 - Report this comment
As a Steeler fan, I can relate to this song. Very hilarious...you get all 5's here.
Paul Warren - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment
The only way the Brown will ever go to the Super Bowl is when nature calls.
Sam888 - May 11, 2008 - Report this comment
great song, Cleveland does suck, amen.
jmegawatt - December 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Is there a place where I can download the song?
turc - May 09, 2009 - Report this comment
cleveland doesnt suck. you're an idiot. its been hard but if you became part of the solution instead of the problem maybe you would be happier, jackass.
Paul Warren - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
2nd Verse about LeBoob...did you see the Conference Championship? That even makes the fairweather fan (like me) want to boycott Cleveland Sports Teams!
SD619 - July 17, 2010 - Report this comment
haha i love how he said "at least we have the bengals." they suck too!! what the hell have the bengals ever done historically?! ohio in general sucks ass!!!
Eric Mangini - August 07, 2010 - Report this comment
I bet against my team every game because they suck so much! Go St-I mean Browns
Paul Warren - February 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Watch a Cavs Game...they'll be on another losing streak after losing to the Wizards in Cleveland! The Decision IS now a Curse...I might make a song like this and call it "Cleveland (Cavs) Suck"!
Hjfallensworth - June 18, 2022 - Report this comment
It has been suggested by people from other cities that the song Cleveland Rocks should be changed to the more appropriate title of Cleveland Rots....
Peregrin - August 15, 2022 - Report this comment
Came across this in the recent comments. Previous conversations with Merry certainly have led me to accept the premise of the song. Interesting reading the comments going back. turc: chill, baby.

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