So often the TV bores me
Surf the range and moan
But when Paramount Pictures' fanfare does start
I sit as still as a stone

Some hate the film "Intolerance"
Some despise "Moulin Rouge"
Or "Star Trek" (last or first?)
Some critics think what is worst
Are the ones that star a Stooge
Sometimes quite funny
Not made for much money
Films where every one's a Stooge

So, meet here Mr. Howard
He with bowl-cut trim
In many folks' eyes he is quite mean
The leader, sometimes grim
Oh, Moe he knocks you silly
Or eyepokes to show his power
I'm glad he's not my neighbor, he would trample on my flowers
(No one throws out the insults like him!)

Here is Mr. L. Fine
It's Larry, yes indeed
The often unkempt peacekeeper of the dunderheaded 3
He often plays the fiddle, and is often seen in blouses
It's strange that he's not named Curly
For he has the hair that wows us!
(Oh no, Moe Larry Cheese!!)

Now we come to Curly
He is slightly mad
He babbles, he screams, his singing's real rad
He's really a victim of "soi-cum-stance"
Wait 'til you see him do an old school breakdance!
(Nyuk! Nyuk!)

Here comes Mr. Shemp, kids
Though looking somewhat weird
A gentler kind of stumble-bum
Lip quivers when in fear
When in a task of labor, his clumsiness increases
He bumps his dead, but does not bleed
He must be blessed by Jesus!

(spoken:)
Stooge gags are old
Going back to their burlesque stint
But their legacy remains
On TV or DVD hereafter

Now here's Besser and DeRita
Both of them named Joe
They are wimps
Quite hard to take
"I'll slap you silly, Moe!"
All living out the surreal life
The slapstick well rehearsed
Wonder if they were paid enough
Their boo-boos were well-nursed
Everyday we laugh away
Giggle 'til you burst!