You say that this dinner is delicious
I insist it’s a little bit bland
From steak to sausage to sandwiches
There’s one thing that my tongue demands

I smear it on bagels and pretzels
I like it dabbed on caviar
This is why I have cabinets full
Of the greatest thing found in a jar

It goes on jellybeans and in yogurt
It goes on red crustaceans and squid
I put it on beefsteak
And also on cheesecake
It goes on lasagna
Do not judge me, Tanya
Now listen up buster
Nothing cuts the mustard
Like the contents found under that lid
There’s a lot of things which it goes on
Grey Poupon!

The haters might speak of expenses
They might think there are flavors that clash
If they looked from my mental lenses
They’d know their opinions are trash

The supermarket has more options
Like ketchup and mayo, I guess
But I won’t get those when I shop since
My palate won’t settle for less

So Poupon on fondue and on red beans
And Poupon on my purple eggplant
It’s on watermelon
Don’t make that face, Helen
On taffy that’s sticky
Stop mocking me, Mickey
On raisins and chili
It ain’t gonna kill me
And no one can tell me I can’t
Put this thing on whatever I want
Grey Poupon!
On poutine and bruschetta and flan
Grey Poupon!