-> "The Twisted Destiny's Child Song"
Original Song Title:
"The Twisted Chipmunk Song"
the Bob Rivers Comedy Troupe
Parody Song Title:
"The Twisted Destiny's Child Song"
MATTHEW KNOWLES: All right, you girls. Ready to sing your new song?
MICHELLE: I'll say we are!
KELLY: Let's get this over with.
MATTHEW: OK, Kelly?
KELLY (burns a contract): OK!
MATTHEW: OK, Michelle?
MICHELLE (reads an issue of "Rolling Stone"): OK!
MATTHEW: OK, Beyonce? Beyonce? BEYONCE!
BEYONCE (stares at herself in the mirror): Relax, Dad! Jesus.
Houston sistahs sing each year.
Same damn rhythms you will hear.
'Tavia, 'Tonia in our past.
Farrah Franklin passed real fast.
We're a bore to listen to.
BEYONCE (holds a "Country Grammar" CD): Wish I hadn't dumped Nelly, too!
You could hardly stand us then,
Now here we come again!
MATTHEW (sips a martini):
Uh, girls? Excuse me!
You can hardly stand to hear
The tripe we sing each year!
MATTHEW: All right! You know that's not how the song goes!
KELLY: That's how it goes now.
MATTHEW: Let's cool it with the ad-libbing and give it one more try.
BEYONCE (points to a poster of herself): I'm sorry--WHO'S running the show here?
MATTHEW (clearly frustrated): Y'know, I can banish you all to a lifetime of shampoo commercials.
MICHELLE: What would YOU know about shampoo, baldy?
MATTHEW: I have a friend at AT&T telemarketing who would pay top dollar to harass the three of you at 3 AM!
BEYONCE: Yeah, like you don't do that yourself.
MATTHEW: How would you all like to be replaced, just like LaTavia, LaTonia, and Farrah?!
KELLY: You wouldn't dare!
MATTHEW (waves a pad of pink slips): I've been wanting to do this for years, Beyonce! That goes for all three of you!
(The girls run off, while Beyonce moons Matthew)
That's it, I'm telling your mother! Arrivederci, girls!
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|How Funny: ||3.3|
|Overall Rating: ||3.5|
|Total Votes: ||15|
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