Pie One is the time
That you, you first watched telly at mine
And that cookery show at quarter to nine
And we baked
Pie Two we're away
And we both, we both had pastries to bake
I made a lovely 3 layer cake
You made a pie.

Now you're older and I look at your pies
Could I maybe just have one little bite?
And I gulp them down so fast, just in case
They go cold

Let's take a bite at these pastries, just bite
Eating all the tastiest pies
Sixty with Mince Beef wrapped in pastry
A stale one made in July
Look at how long she cooks them, children
Look at the tear in her eyes
As we devour all her life's work
We're eating the tastiest pies

Pie Three, which i eat
But I think, I think it was our first ever bet
You bet 5 quid I couldn't eat your pie in a sec
Never mind

Pie Four in a park
And you sold them, for a price of 52 marks
I could hear the faintest beat of your heart
As we munched

Now you're older and I look at your pies
Could I maybe just have one little bite?
And I gulp them down so fast, just in case
They go cold

Let's take a bite at these pastries, just bite
Eating all the tastiest pies
Sixty with Mince Beef wrapped in pastry
A stale one made in July
Look at how long she cooks them, children
Look at the tear in her eyes
As we devour all her life's work
We're eating the tastiest pies

Well my pies look like a pile, of your faceses,
And my cakes are always green and they're mouldy
But you'll never hear the rumble of a tum
When you are here
You'll never hear the rumble
Of a tum