It seems one geek went and took a leak
What I’m spreading online is information
Got nations all after me
Saying "Get that damn rebel, combat his free speech!"
Each page that I’m giving you
Takes real lies and shows they’re false in face of real truth
Fourth Estate will keep sifting these
We’re gonna Wiki away more private-eye stories

Holy cow, we’d better stop print
Have you seen this hot link?
The ink is fresh from Afghanistan
As someone snitched new transmissions
Of more soldiers they’ll enlist
Also, the Russians will sell several missiles to Iran

Hot like Gaddafi’s bodyguard line
Mugabe hate crimes?
They plan to end his rule now, soon
Crook, gambler and drug cheat:
Guebuza’s rap sheet
Informants told me, so I’ll bust you

Wanna sneak a peek at Mozambique
Or seek a Sheikh Hasina leak?
We’ve the guerrilla news from underneath the table
Serbia’s slow to join the show
With Kosovo, they still say no
So screw an anchor ‘cause we’re leaking news with cables

Security talks with the head of Sunnis in Baghdad
Pakistan bomb reports: Islam-are-bad?
Canada’s Haitian Governor-General
Can’t wait for scandal: BP and the oil spill
A real intensity with Tehran eyeing Tel Aviv
People are listening from all over the world

It seems one geek went and took a leak
Nuclear arms in the air for Prince Sarkozy
Blackwater’s Iraqi spree
Plus criminal drug lords Mexico’s seized
An El Salvadoran in the room:
‘The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Mauricio Funes’
Paraguay trafficks overseas
Sources will get hacked each day, I’ll broadcast their stories

*modem dialup instrumental*
*segue into Kung Fu Fighting piano riff*

Stickybeak China and cyber victims
They never can click Google links, too wicked
Documents, files, if you find some
Send them my way, son
Don’t think The Smoking Gun has this one!

More terr’rism, Jordan’s stuck there landlocked
Violence in Bangkok
Africa’s refugees are ratified
Folk with Zimbabwe diamonds got killed
Policemen’s vaults filled
Those poor guys tend to all be camera shy

A completed fleet of secret subs
War orders forged by Georgie Dubs
Plus every spyin’ Uruguayan we are hacking
Lot o’ hits, Kabul to Istanbul
As well as Seoul’s broadcast ca-ble
Japanese trade with that crazy chink Kim Jong-Il

You hear the Saudis froze their assets off with Iran?
Palestine soccer riots in Amman?
Rumoured to be bi, Iraq’s unicameral
Plans to disband Argentine/Falkland oil drills
From every embassy, we share online all their leaks
So many whistleblowers dishing the dirt...

Two Swedish freaks made a crook of me?
Cops have got me inside, they Suede the jury
I’m jailed for an act or two of
Consensual consummation with no condom? Screwed.
Leaked fables were in the news
The reason that I shot to fame, became a recluse
Locked away, Category B
Because two snitchy old bitches made up some story

I should never have chased some tail from those slurries
It’ll still be two days ‘til my bail in Surrey
Can’t wait to leak this tale in a hurry...