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Song Parodies -> "Neat Freak"

Original Song Title:

"One Week"

Original Performer:

The Barenaked Ladies

Parody Song Title:

"Neat Freak"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

Think of this as The Odd Couple on crack!!!
My gal’s a Neat Freak yeah she loves to clean
This wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t messy
Five times she vacuumed the floor
Uses those feather dusters as weapons against me
While I lounge in the living room
This plastic couch cover’s her fault and is my doom
Left a plate in the kitchen sink
You’ll break both my legs if I leave it dirty

Flushed it down to make it not stink
That’s not what I think
If I don’t my lungs are in the trash can
This crazy bitch is a witch if I don’t keep the front lawn snipped
I think she’ll kill me
So I’m out there on the John Deere, man!
Or she’ll start sobbing when she spots grime
Like it’s a big crime
(But this Bipolar chick’s cute)
Wears a Mini-Skirt but needs to press it
But she’d get stressed, shit, if she irons another hole through
Gonna clean her jeans still steamed obscene
And when they sheen they’re keen
She’s the germ killer and she’s called the “Windex Savior”
Our windows glow, but I’m a shmo
Cause I will throw old food onto the flo’
The old days were so odorous
But nowadays I’ll need an undertaker

When we’re in bed and I talk dirty she tells me to go and take a bath
When I track mud into the house she’ll attack my calves
I’m the kind of guy who craps in a urinal
You haven’t seen that South Park scene?
Well, It’s true here
I have the tendency to wipe my nose on my sleeve
My gal’s in misery, because I’m full of dirt

Yeah she’s a Neat Freak, as it’s plain to see
Sprayed some Glade in my hair
Because I’m stinky
Five times you have shackled me
To use an old sock to try your washing
You’ve spent 3 days in our one bathroom
You realized I messed your walls
With toothpaste and shampoo
I’m your biggest grievance, see
Because when I just sit back and nap you yell, “You’re Lazy!”

Polished your china cause the pot roast’s stickin’
I tried to cook once now the charcoal thickens
She covers them in Dial and she shines them
She sander grinds them
Now they sparkle clean cause they’re done
Then she’s cleaning out my Ford until it’s spotless
My trunk was toxic
And seats were impossible to purify
Like Mr. Clean she has the mad skills
Can clean up all of my spills
And she can do it in three seconds times
She makes my whole apartment full of suds
The soapy water makes all the floors flood
So she can mop it and then take and out all of the mud wring
I really like to snooze till afternoon
Covers are strewn and she is rude in the morning
Throws me so she can fix the beddings

I try to dress nice, but you say I’m filthy wearing that
You’re not much into style, it still looks bad
Cause there on my tie is stains from my Taco Melt
I need to go change or obscene
Things are dealt
I’ve a dependency to get way drunk until I heave
My entire body is covered in dirt

She’s a Neat Freak and broke up with me
Made a mess too many times
And then she left me
Now flies fill my living room and dead
Opossums lie there and raccoons rummaged my fridge, dude
Blind dates all have said they’ll sue
When I tried to get them in the sack
And choked on deadly fumes
Yesterday you split up with me
But already my whole house looks like a trash heap

But already a few bats have died in my chimney

But already the mold’s chewing holes in my Chevy

A Subway sandwich that’s full of salami

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 34

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   7
 2
 2
 
 5   27
 32
 32
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - July 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Felix Unger, Monica Geller, Adrian Monk and my mother won't like this parody, but they're not here, are they? A big sloppy five.
Below Average Dave - July 02, 2008 - Report this comment
This is 5 worthy buddy, very funny. . .and paced pretty well, though the rhyme scheme wasn't quite perfect, it was good enough to be stretched in a recording and I think that it's impressive enough a write to overcome what few little issues I caught:)
Meriadoc - July 02, 2008 - Report this comment
A nice job to a very difficult OS.
DustBunny - July 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Matthias, as I look into my crystal ball, I do NOT see marriage in your future!
Jason - August 10, 2008 - Report this comment
This was very well done. I echo BA Dave's comment. 555
Max Power - August 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Monk may hate this parody but I don't, 555
Peter Andersson - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm sure DustBunny is wrong, you can always find a gal who lives by the axiom; hate the filth, love the filthy...
Guy - August 17, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-Jul-08)

Methinks your girl might be the sister of with Mr. Clean. Commenting on these parodies is a dirty job but somebody has to do it. Is your girl busy right now? I'll bet she's buffing the light bulbs or some such thing.
Agrimorfee - August 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(sotm) I agree with Dave's comments above. This will be a high contender.
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I had a hard time getting the pacing to come out right. Maybe it's the OS's manic pace, or the way you've set this on out. This was a great idea, but I just had trouble pacing it.
Jeff Reuben - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Wow, excellent job with this one! I thought you got the pacing very well for a tough song, and a lot of very funny lines throughout!
Red Ant - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
This was awesome, Matt. Great format and nailing most of the internal rhymes made this easy to follow, a sure sign of great work on a song that goes so fast. Lots of LOL lines too.
Below Average Dave - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See Above for most of my comment, you already know I think this is among your best, and "Great Scam Artist" Aside, it's my favorite of your "Epic 40" parodies (and to a song on my list no-less just like my favorite of your Epic 40) One question though, why did you put the line about the BiPolar chick in parenthesis? Great job Matty
Matthias - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
To tell you the truth Dave... I can't remember, I think I did it because it was something that he was think, but he was thinking pretty much this entire parody, so I really don't know why I did do that...
Invisible Boy - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
I liked ot a lot, Matty. This is the kind of OS that contains lots of potential for lots of funny lines. Yes...it requires more work, but the end result is usually worth it. It was worth it here.
A top contender.
Dr Music - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
She's a neat freak and she's really strong? Wow. Sounds like she's one of those amazon warrior women or a superheroine like Wonder Woman. Fab song btw.
Wolverine - December 19, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) Like Conq, I have trouble pacing this song, but it's not you, it's the OS. I recently wrote a "parody" to this (not for this site, for personal friends), and this is an incredibly hard song to do. This is pretty funny, with the dead opossums and raccoons sealing it for me.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) Tackled this tough OS brilliantly, but there were syllable problems throughout. Plenty of laugh out loud moments, though, too so muchos win overall.
Arwen - December 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Ages--I stumbled a couple of times on this one...but it's still the hardest song I've ever done...so anyone who even tries it and comes out alive, while making me laugh, is a winner to me. =)
Jeff Reuben - December 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Ages...see above! Still loved it, well done!
bobpiecheese - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) See above (not looking forward to doing this song - damn Epic 40)!
Agrimorfee - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
[Ages] 2 "One Weeks" to decide on...which will it be? Stay tuned! (the subs here are quite genius, to be sure...)
tomario - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(ages) Well i have just had to do this song about 10 times and its pretty cool. a lot of work i imagine. good work Matthias
EmiLoca - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(Ages) Speaking as one of the week-er competitors this round I think I can fully appreciate how challenging this is to pace. Those damn Ladies jumble the lyrics so trippingly on the tongue, it's not only difficult to get every syllable down to a tack, but it's even worse trying to tell if it's correct from a listener's standpoint. Epic effort, Matthias.
Glen S - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done sir. Hat's off to your tackling of this monster which I have not yet. Favorites included 'Our windows glow/ but I’m a shmo/ Cause I will throw/ old food onto the flo’ and 'I'm the kinda guy who craps in a urinal'.
Below Average Dave - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Not that it's judging criteria for me (because I DO think outside the box a lot) but I still feel this one was far more about Cleanliness than dating--See Above for the opinion I do judge on though:)
Invisible Boy - March 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Still love it...see above
Abbott Skelding - July 28, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC: I love the original song, but the pacing was off in a few places. This was a great idea but the pacing needs a little bit of "cleaning".
Mark Scotti - July 30, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC) The official OCD theme song. LOL!!!!
Below Average Dave - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Comment 4, see above x3
Andria - August 12, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC M & N) Not bad... pacing's a little off, but even Weird Al missed the boat a bit with his parody of this OS back in 1999 ("Jerry Springer").

OCD = 555
Andria - August 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Typo alert... OCD equals 455, not 555. ;-) Made a booboo when I typed the last part of the comment.
Christie Marie M - August 12, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC M/N) That gal in that song must have OCD. It also sounds a lot like my mom as well. Like last month, she has us cleaning the house every single day and complains about how dusty, smelly and filthy our house would be and would work the whole family like a dog. This song must be hard to pace, but I'm assuming since you've been writing parodies for a long time, I'm sure you paced it as best as you can, even though I couldn't really pace it well when I sang through it...or perhaps I must have read it wrong. Well this is a hard OS to parody due to fast singing! Well, cleaing 5 dishes, dusting 5 furnitures, and scrubbing 5 sinks for this one! Yeah, I'm sounding like a neat freak myself right now!
Guy - August 14, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC-MN

See my comment above. This was just as much fun on the second read. I just love a "clean" parody.
bobpiecheese - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC5-MN) See above.
DJ Blaze - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
I just now got how hard this song is to parody. I also got how bad it is to be a neat freak. You sir, will forever be a legend. 555
Christie Marie M - January 11, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC Tournament) Neat-o parody, Matt!

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