I was going down the road, at about 10,000,000 MPH,
And I got stopped by some cop, and he said “You were speeding!”,
And I’m like “No, I wasn’t speeding. If I’m running,
It doesn’t count as speeding.” and he’s like “Yes, you were speeding! Tell that to the judge!” and I’m like “No! I wasn’t speeding!
Why don’t you clock me with your radar gun?!” and I started running,
And I was so fast, his radar gun exploded,
And he was like “You are speeding!!!!”
And I’m like “How can I be speeding if the monitor says ‘ERR’?!”
And he’s like “You broke my radar gun! You're going to prison!"

If bikers go bout 103,
Then why don’t they let me get off scot-free
I’m a hedgehog, and I go real fast
But why doesn’t anyone let me pass!?

I'm not crazy! (You were speeding!)
You're the one that's crazy! (No, you were speeding!!!)
You're driving me crazy! (You're still speeding!!!!)
They put me in these video games
But everything just seems so lame
When the five-o are after you
There’s nothing much a blue hedgehog can do!

I was in my room, and Tails is like
“Hey Sonic, I’ve been noticing that you’ve been acting strange lately,
And I think that you should stop running around a relax a bit”
And I’m like “Hey Tails, doesn’t the theme song say the words
‘No talk of relaxation’? So I’ve gotta keep going, no matter what!”
And he’s like “But Sonic, you’re gonna get so tired that you won’t be able Tto fight Eggman when he attacks!”
And I’m like “No!! I gotta keep my speed level up!!” and he’s like
“Then why don’t you give me 5 bucks so I can go get a Pepsi!”
And I’m like “No!!! Get your own 5 bucks! Get your own Pepsi!"

Tails is usually a good chum
But now he’s acting kinda dumb
If he can’t stop me no one can
So stop ranting bout Dr. Eggman!

I'm not crazy!!!! (Go get me 5 bucks!)
You're the one that's crazy!! (Go fight Eggman!!)
You're driving me crazy!!!! (I want a Pepsi!!!!)
They put me in these video games
But everything just seems so lame
When the five-o are after you
There’s nothing much a blue hedgehog can do!

I was on “Deal or No Deal” and I chose case #7 as mine,
And it was like over in 3 seconds, and I got the million dollar case,
And Howie Mandel was like “Man, that was the fastest game of Deal
I've ever seen!” and I’m like “Thanks, but I gotta get going.”
And I take the million dollar case and run from the set, and they're like “You have to file Terms and Conditions before you get the money!!!!!!!!” And I just say “It's my money!!!! I'm spending it!!!!”
And they're like “Terms and Conditions!!!!!” and I’m like
“You're not taking any of my cold hard cash!!!!!!”
And they're like “Taxes!!!! Taxes!!!!”

The show was great, but I gotta go
I got the million, and won the show
They want my money, but I must go
Then no one's gonna take my dough!!

I'm not crazy!!!! (Terms and Conditions!)
You're the one that's crazy!! (Gotta pay the taxes!!)
You're driving me crazy!!!! (And where's my Pepsi??!!!!)
They put me in these video games
But everything just seems so lame
When the five-o are after you
There’s nothing much a blue hedgehog can do!

It doesn't matter. Soon I'll be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, anyway.