Walk a mile to get to your train
Blockading the station is a stand
Some missionaries position (hee!)
Inciting holy visionaries

[CHARITY WORKERS:]
"But lo, we'll need dimes in hand!"

You watch a cricket game
The telly clear and bright
Next ad, there's children maimed
With flaming heads alight

[NEWS REPORTERS:]
"We all need your support
To help these Africans."

You oblige... their insistence is strong!

You may get jabbed in the chest
With a pamphlet clipboard
Old dames adorned in vests
Will milk out your remorse
Go door-to-door in twos
With a long spiel and golden pen for
You to sign... thus enlisting your funds!

[HIPPIES:]
"Shamed affluence!
Extravagance!"

[HIPPY SPOKESWOMAN:]
"These third world countries are bone dry,
Give dollars now or they will die!"

[drums and fanfare]

[SALVATION ARMY:]
"Help solve the plight!
And spare some change!
Help solve the plight!
Send it in today!
It's the solution!
Don't be tight!
Help solve the plight!"

[GERALDO RIVERA:]
"Down here, it's a massive tomb,
Where bodies burn in clouds of fumes!
A horrid sight of terror 'n' gloom
We hope you'll send ten dollars soon!"

[UNICEF:]
"Open up your banks, you white-collars!
You're all loaded slimy bastards, give some dollars!"

[RED CROSS AID WORKER:]
"We load dead babies onto trucks.
Can't you please spare a couple bucks?"

[EMACIATED AFRICANS:]
"We are so hungry, starved and poor.
What the f*** are you waiting for?
Hurry along and send us all your alms!"

[PRESIDENT:]
"We'll drop in aid... by... air!"

[HIPPY SPOKESWOMAN:]
"When Africa's returned to calm,
We'll save the poor in Vietnam!"

They all want your cheques and cash!
("Help solve the plight!")
Your purse is getting stripped!
("And spare some change!")
So now YOU live like trash!
("Help solve the plight!")
But just think of the kids!
("Send it in today!")
Yeah, that's the way it goes.
("It's the solution!")
When charities have your funds!
("Don't be tight!")
Though sucked dry...
("Help solve the plight!")

[OXFAM:]
"We'll have your bank... stripped... bare!"

Their persistence nags onnnnn!

[ALL:]
"Save Africa!
Save Africa!
Save Africaaaaa!"