Somebody once told me, "The world can just go blow me
if they think I'll work for minimum wage."
He was livin' with his mom and a-goin to the prom
and he was almost twenty-five years of age.

Well
He can't find a job but he says he's lookin'
He won't do cleanin' and he won't do cookin'
Didn't make grades when he was in school
Won't wear a uniform cuz that ain't cool

So much to do, so much to see
So many beers before he has to go pee
He always throws up on the flo
He always whines that he is po

Hey now
Work at Wal-mart
Stock the shelves there
all day
Hey now
Where's the Pop-tarts?
Where's the watch band
display?
And all them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

It's a cool place so it's nice in the summer
Ain't no insurance and that is a bummer
And the union men all get fired
They don't wanna pay your ass when you're retired

The stuff we sell is gettin pretty old
Rotate that product so they all will get sold
Here's a curling iron; here's a nail file
And we're selling rifles in the very next aisle

Hey now
We're at Wal-mart
need a haircut
to-day
Hey now
Buy a Zagnut
in the checkout
Go pay
All them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

Somebody once asked, "Do you have a hockey mask?
And while you're at it, can you change my oil?"
And I said , "Nope. I'm a big dope.
Workin' on a car I don't have no hope.
I guess we all been a little spoiled."

Well
I can't stop goin and I won't stop goin'
Open all night even when it is snowin'
Doesn't make sense to support the small guys
They may have charm but they don't have fries

So much to browse, so much to buy
So what's wrong with helping the big guy?
Oh can't you see that we are free?
You always whine it should not be

Hey now
Shop at Wal-mart
Get a game boy
Go play
Right there
in your backyard
It's a Wal-mart
hoo-ray
And all them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

All them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told....