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Song Parodies -> "The Tall Blind Date"

Original Song Title:

"I Wish"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"The Tall Blind Date"

Parody Written by:

Jack Wilson

The Lyrics

For The Great Parody Challenge, why isnt this in the Epic 40?

This-This miss, she is a little too tall,here
Can’t fit in the stall here
If I need to wear boots I think should
Need a chord to call her
I gotta ask her dad how did she get tall as that?
Is she 6’4 or taller?

I wish that I was six foot nine
So I could ever kiss her
Everything from the boobs down is pretty fine
We look like this all the time
Is there such a thing as extreme puberty?
Did I tell ya yet I’m five foot nine?
Wonder how she looks when fat?
She’s so tall, she’d kick my balls
I know I couldn’t deal with that
I’m sure she’s really great with basketball
This is makin’ me ticked
And my bed won’t accommodate her at all
Her legs could touch the wall
She knows I’m not that tall
Has to look down at my balls
On top of some books I have stood
When we got to restaurants
She needs about ten straws
Those standing cardboard soda bottles
Taller than them bottles!
I almost hurt my neck lookin’ at her breasts
I think I might need a chiropractor in this city
It’s hard when a phone pole towers a bit over yo’ date
I gotta use my senses
Like stack-stack a bunch of books and tape them together
Next time I see her I’ll ask how’s the weather?
I bet she has to watch for airline flights
This miss , she is a little too tall,here
Can’t fit in the stall here
If I need to wear boots I think should
Need a chord to call her
I gotta ask her dad how did she get tall as that?
Is she 6’4 or taller?

I think I need a brand new car
She has bend over and lay down in the back
I got set up, cause I never would tap that
She’s comfortable in ways Id’ hurt my back
It’s like having Godzilla crunched up in the backseat
And that’s crap
And you really wanna know what’s wack What
She could be seven foot eight
So, what do you think of that?
She can literally tap all traffic lights
But not Empire State Builiding right
Little kids getting’ scared,oh
When people see us together they say hell,no!
If I ever made her mad, she might crush me just someday
All set, gonna tell her we were set up, then I gotta go
Don’t care if it ended at 1:05
Gotta got a girl my own and get on with life
Don’t want a tall wife
It was hard just to even have sex
Her nipples once touched my eye
One tall guy? Not this guy
Tall girls not mine,mine,mine

I’m pissed cause she was just way taller
She crashed into walls, er.
My friend set me up with any girl he could
Wish he hadn’t called her
Maybe I shouldn’t ask that sack of crap
For blind dates anymore

Yeah, Trish was a little too tall there
A little too tall-her
Once kicked me in the balls,hurt
I’m pissed she was so much talller y'all
Once crashed into a mall,her
You had to jump for dollars
Don’t think that I would stalker

Hey, I need a brand new date
One that won’t block all the sun out
If I could get one my height that would be great
Don’t one named James
Or one that always blames
Or one that always will complain
One that can actually fit in my room
Like that tall one was tough to f*ck
If she was ugly, man I’d be doomed
Or one that always bosses me around
And then around me acts like a hound
Hey, let’s make some sounds
The neighbors won’t know what goin down
Ahhhh ,yes, ah hell yes
This blind date will be a keeper
This new date’s quite a lot of bits shorter
I’d sure like to escort her
I saw that tall girl with another tall guy
Think it was King Kong,er
I wonder if I have date who has rats and some cats
And is kind of a stalker
New miss….new miss…new miss

2008 Jack "Local Celebrity"Wilson

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Youtube vid:
Agrimorfee - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
(Challenge) Well were definitely challenged here...Lord knows, I would have HATED getting this one, almost as much as "Mope"! There was way too many of the original words still in place for this to be a high-scorer. A lot of it just couldn't make much sense to paced it well, but at the expense of the verses themselves. Eh well, better luck next year.
UnKnownVo - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
nice job, Sir. Hope find your lady, as the weekend will be here soon!
Matthias - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
I didn't like how you repeated what you already said, I was like "Hey this is pretty funny" then I read on, and I was like okay, okay I read this already, it was funny the first time, but now it's starting to lose it's sparkle... I wouldn't have minded getting this song, I like working with rap, a song that I wouldn't be able to cope with was the one that Aggy added that would have been tough, but anyways Jack I'm with Aggy on this one, better luck next year, but at least you got it done.
Below Average Dave - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Repetitiveness aside Jack, this one looks like it was hell to pull off, so 5s on principle.
Invisible Boy - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
For having to work on this one thanks to the "luck of the draw" you deserve 5s and then some. Some of the gags were very funny. Nice job.
Kristof Robertson - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(Challenge) You did a pretty good job here, Jack....considering the length and rhyming complexity of the song. But, yeah, it didn't always hang together. Still, I'll give ya 5s just for stepping up to the plate big time. 555
Below Average Dave - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Well, I think I'll stick by my original statement here Jack.
bobpiecheese - April 11, 2008 - Report this comment
You did use a bit too much of the OS, and the pacing wasn't as tight as your more recent works have been, but this was still very well done, and I liked how you worked with the topic. 555 for you.
mike - November 19, 2012 - Report this comment
hey you whats that sound everybody look whats going down ahhhhh yes aint that fresh and errbody wants 2 get down like that

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