Programme makers curling up to die
People coming, people going, no TV tonight
will not see, because it's complete sh!te
yes it's all crap, and that's the way it is

viewers have been heard votin' with their feet
go out to the bar, gig, club, or street
to like these programmes is hard, you admit defeat
they're all crap, and that's the way it is - Huh!

Money is the key they want cheap you know
mess ups, drop-outs, how much further low
Won't you tell me the last time you watched these crap shows?
they're all crap, and that's the way it is

cheap quiz shows on every day
DIY to titilate
got further down dumbed, and now we say
they're all crap, and that's the way it is - Huh!

5, channel 4 and ITV
sky box office and the BBC
Whatever happened to quality?
they're all crap, and that's the way it is

Interaction is the word
the 'Off' button is where we'll turn
I'll just drink my pint now this crap is blurred
It's all crap, and that's the way it is - Huh!

You can't see a lot on this damn can
made for those who have a short attention span
You noticed that time goes quickly and
It's all crap (what?) and that's the way it is

the comedy was cool,
although the jokes were lame
newspapers might have said they were overpaid
Now your inside you're watching and didn't get laid
It's all crap (what?) and that's the way it is - Huh!

One thing I know is that life is short
So telly's distracting, from useful thought
and I sort of believed this - now I watch sky sport
It's all crap (what?) and now I'm watching it

It's all crap (what?) and now I'm watching it
You know It's all crap (what?) and now I'm watching it
Because It's all crap (what?) and now I'm watching it