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Song Parodies -> "Waiter You Spilled My Mocha"

Original Song Title:

"Livin' La Vida Loca"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ricky Martin

Parody Song Title:

"Waiter You Spilled My Mocha"

Parody Written by:

Jonathan

The Lyrics

picture it... Sicily 1941... (LOL! just kidding... sorry had to go for the "Golden Girls" reference!) so you're at a coffee house and the waiter spills a boiling hot mocha right on your pants and as you try to point out his error he rudely tells you to shut up and just acts downright disrespectful about the whole thing! "sigh" is it any wonder I avoid coffee houses?
(can I get a wet-nap over here please?)

I'm into coffee houses feel hip within these walls
the thought of it arouses until that spill on my balls

I got a bad sensation like kicks that were placed just right
'tis hot and burnin' my groin I'll need some ice tonight

I want to take my pants off and just end the searing pain
I'm dancing like a crazy guy look at the odd looks I've gained
they must all think I'm insane (Dear God!)

Hate To Point This Out But Waiter You Spilled My Mocha
Want To Pull My Pants Down Because On Them's My Mocha
my wiener's prob'ly red and my screams are heard in boca
I Don't Mean To Pout Waiter You Spilled My Mocha (Dear God!)
Waiter You Spilled My Mocha (It's Hot!)
Ow Waiter You Spilled My Mocha

what did you just say to me? did you just say you don't care?
now listen a**hole this isn't funny
don't tell me to kiss your derriere

I've never threatened murder before but man you're a pain
once you get a blister there you'll never be the same
buddy you should be ashamed! ('Twas Hot!)

Turn You Inside Out You Shouldn't Have Spilled My Mocha
And I Will Beat You Down Numbskull Who Spilled My Mocha
then I will whack your head 'til the screams are heard in boca
I Will Knock You Out Numbskull Who Spilled My Mocha (You Jerk!)
Waiter You Spilled My Mocha (Won't Work!)
You Jerkwad You Spilled My Mocha

I can't believe you brushed me off and told me that I'm lame
to quote that Carly Simon song buddy I think "You're So Vain"
don't tell me not to complain! (IT BURNED!)

Turn You Inside Out You Shouldn't Have Spilled My Mocha
And I Will Beat You Down Numbskull Who Spilled My Mocha
then I will whack your head 'til the screams are heard in boca
I Will Knock You Out Numbskull Who Spilled My Mocha (You Jerk!)
Don't You Throw Me Out The Waiter He Spilled My Mocha
You've Got You're Nerve No Doubt Waiter Who Spilled My Mocha
you've got me seein' red and my screams are heard in boca
Yet They Throw Me Out After You Spilled My Mocha (You @$$!)
Waiter You Spilled My Mocha (No Class!)
Waiter You Spilled My Mocha

(yeah I know I shouldn't threaten the peeps)
(but enough already!)

('twas hot!)

Waiter You Spilled My Mocha
and he's just laughing won't even say he's sorry
while I've got burns to the third degree!
thanks for reading!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   26
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
555 degrees! You might wanna try a Lg Vanilla Bean Latte with cream next time ;-)
Jonathan - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
^ Thanks Rob! not that I've ever heard of anything like this happening in real life but if it DID I would be so glad that I don't like coffee!
Leough - August 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Sorta reminds me of a Seinfeld episode - better call Jackie Chiles and whatever you do, don't use a balm!
Jeff Reuben - August 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Reminded me of the Seinfeld episode as well, funny stuff, and well executed!
Lauren - August 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Jonathan, you da bomb! 5-5-5 baby!
Jonathan - August 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Leough & Jeff Reuben - Thanks Guys! glad you liked it! I have to admit I'm not familiar with the "Seinfeld" episode being discussed as I've only seen the show a handful of times and simply could not get into it (guess I'm weird that way) my taste in sitcoms leans more towards "ALF" "Mr. Belvedere" "The Golden Girls" (as seen by my reference in the opening description) "I Love Lucy" & "The Andy Griffith Show"
Lauren: Thank You! I'm glad you liked it!
Don Filney - August 23, 2015 - Report this comment
I love coffee and this had me chuckling with laughter. Keep up the good work. 5s, well deserved :))
Jonathan - August 23, 2015 - Report this comment
^ Thank You Don!
Andy Primus - August 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Well done Jonathan. I've just come across 3 American brands that I'd not heard of in Timmy's entry and now there's a 4th (Wet-Naps). I've never heard of a case where the waiter has spilled a hot drink on someone but the most ridiculous one I have heard of was the old woman who spilled McD tea on own her lap and was awarded about $3 million by a jury. Absolutely Crazy!
Andy Primus - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
Oops, make that "on her own lap".
Rob Arndt - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
Andy, you got that all wrong. The 79 year old woman was in the drive thru and got coffee, not tea. The Ford Probe had no cup holders for her to remove the lid and add sugar/creamer. She held the cup between her legs and when she tried to remove the tight lid, the coffee spilled into her lap and gave her third degree burns. She had to have skin grafting and two years medical treatments. The coffee was over 190o F!!! Coffee should be served at 165-180o F. McDonalds was responsible for the medical bills and punitive damages. I have worked at restaurants before and have never gone over 165o F. Burning hot coffee and tea is not worth lawsuits. The lady was burned instantly, soaking through her garments. She had third degree burns in her nether region of 6% and 16% overall with other areas. It was not a frivolous lawsuit.
Rob Arndt - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
There was also the Charbucks incident where a barista spilled hot coffee on a customer's foot. The coffee was 200oF!!! The lady suffered second degree burns and nerve damage. It cost Starbucks $301,000...
Andy Primus - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob: Yeah, that's the one. I got the tea/coffee mixed up because I just wrote it from memory. I remember reading about it in the paper when the case was settled about 20 years ago. Terrible injuries but I still can't help thinking that she had to be a special kind of stupid to put a hot drink between her legs and then take the lid off. What ever happened to common sense? How will it all end if those kind of lawsuits keep happening? Perhaps you'll only be able to buy cold tea/coffee and each establishment will have a microwave with a "use at your own risk" sign on it. I do agree with the payout for the Starbucks one you mentioned though because it wasn't the customer's own fault.
Rob Arndt - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
Starbucks and other places that serve coffee can't be sued for coffee served at normal temp range of 140-180o F. I think the max is 189o F. Anything over 190o F is considered burning hot and there is liability. But if a Starbucks customer orders hotter coffee like 200o F, Starbucks is not responsible. Only accidents like the Charbucks incident AFAIK...
Jonathan - August 24, 2015 - Report this comment
^^^^ Thanks Andy! glad you liked it and I'm glad to have informed you of Wet-Naps! (lol!) also it's interesting to see things that really HAVE happened involving hot coffee via your & Rob's conversation though I highly doubt the Waiters in real life were as disrespectful as the one depicted here! (ha ha) this was purely a work of fiction (as far as I know) all characters appearing in this work are fictitious any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Peregrin - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
This will teach me to comment late! Both Andy and Rob beat me to the obvious observations. Great read, Jonathan.
Jonathan - August 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Thank You Peregrin!

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