Here's a MTV presenter with a Brum accent
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
There's a vocalist on the side of the arse
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
If you hear her on SMTV; Live
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
here's a ghost who believes in Bowman
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
Edith's all it takes to be a man's Bowman
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Now did you ever meet Ant
or did you ever get to see Dec
do you hear these Geordie accents going
'wahey man' or 'reet pet'

If you hear this, they're caught a Cat on the moon
(Cat on the moon)
If you send this, they're caught a Cat on the moon
(Cat on the moon)
If you believe in me, that's caught a new disease
(new disease)
if you believe, there's nothing up the clouds and everything's not golden

There's a Chums right up the ass of PJ
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Here's a SMTV; Live stuck up the years
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Futures believe in these anything else
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Did you ever see the Chart Show when it ended
(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Now did you ever see this happen
tell me if you're licking me off
everything is wrong but is scared of Rick Wakeman
buggering Cat Deeley up the seaside's arse

if you believe, they caught a cat on the moon
(Cat on the moon)
is it the 40s, i don't think it is anymore
(is it anymore)
Well did you hear, there's nothing up the sleeve and go to the Butlins camp

Here's a Merry Christmas from Cat Deeley
I love her so
wishing her well as well as Edith Bowman
it's alright then as well
believed in bollocks rather than the cunninglingus
if you're ever heard
Please, please, please, stop buggering them up
that's very childlike

But did you ever hear of Cat Deeley
did you ever meet her in '98
SMTV; Live would be much missed now
as would Pat Sharp's mullet

If you believe, they're caught a Cat on the moon
(Cat on the moon)
if you believe, we do miss her on CITV
(and no more groupies)
did you ever see the keyboards we played with Ant & Dec

Did you see they're from Newcastle
(Howay, man)
Better than life, or maybe better than Ezra
(way better than that)
Did you ever see the guests on SMTV; Live
they were the Incredible Hulk

Huuuuuuurgggh