Song Parodies -> Having A Contraction
| Original Song Title: | "Losing My Religion" |
| Original Performer: | R.E.M |
| Parody Song Title: | "Having A Contraction" |
| Parody Written by: | Christie Marie M |
Ode to labor pains. What women had to go through to bring a child into the world! I had been watching childbirth programs in the TLC and Discovery Health Channel and witnessed what they had to go through each time. Lately, I've also been watching my comedy DVD movies based on pregnancy such as Knocked Up, Baby Mama, and My Baby's Daddy. NOTE: I was actually putting myself in a pregnant woman's shoes while writing this parody.
(Instrumental Intro)
My pains have triggered
They've triggered, it's true
Be glad you're not me
The hell that I must go through
My stomach's in a vice
Oh no, it hurts too much!
I think it's time
That's me feeling torture
That's me screaming all night, I'm
Having a contraction
Trying to breathe through the pain
And I don't know if I could take it
Oh no, it hurts too much!
I think I've had it rough
I felt that my water's breaking
I felt I've leaked like a sieve
I think I thought that I would die!
Every induction
Every slowing heart rate, I've
Just had my Pitocin
Trying to speed things along
I feel twisted, deranged, and cruel, cruel
Oh no, it hurts so much!
I cried out loud
Go inject me!
Go inject me!
Put me out of misery
Go inject me, someone!
"Doc, give me drugs please,
(I'm) beggin' !"
What if I decide to have a
Caesarian?
'Cuz I had suffered much
I felt that my baby's kicking
I hoped that it isn't breech
I hoped that it will come out right
(Instrumental Break)
Pains are too extreme
Birth is so extreme
That's me feeling torture
That's me screaming with fright, I'm
Having a contraction
Trying to breathe through the pain
And I don't know if I could stand it
Oh no, it hurts so much!
Don't think I had enough
I felt that my baby's crowning
I pushed hard with all my might
I think I've felt I've s**t a knife!*
Childbirth is too extreme
Winced, cringed, pinched, twitched!
Pains are too extreme
So extreme, so extreme
(I) screamed!
(Instrumental Outro)
My pains have triggered
They've triggered, it's true
Be glad you're not me
The hell that I must go through
My stomach's in a vice
Oh no, it hurts too much!
I think it's time
That's me feeling torture
That's me screaming all night, I'm
Having a contraction
Trying to breathe through the pain
And I don't know if I could take it
Oh no, it hurts too much!
I think I've had it rough
I felt that my water's breaking
I felt I've leaked like a sieve
I think I thought that I would die!
Every induction
Every slowing heart rate, I've
Just had my Pitocin
Trying to speed things along
I feel twisted, deranged, and cruel, cruel
Oh no, it hurts so much!
I cried out loud
Go inject me!
Go inject me!
Put me out of misery
Go inject me, someone!
"Doc, give me drugs please,
(I'm) beggin' !"
What if I decide to have a
Caesarian?
'Cuz I had suffered much
I felt that my baby's kicking
I hoped that it isn't breech
I hoped that it will come out right
(Instrumental Break)
Pains are too extreme
Birth is so extreme
That's me feeling torture
That's me screaming with fright, I'm
Having a contraction
Trying to breathe through the pain
And I don't know if I could stand it
Oh no, it hurts so much!
Don't think I had enough
I felt that my baby's crowning
I pushed hard with all my might
I think I've felt I've s**t a knife!*
Childbirth is too extreme
Winced, cringed, pinched, twitched!
Pains are too extreme
So extreme, so extreme
(I) screamed!
(Instrumental Outro)
* I sort of quoted Amy Poehler in the movie "Baby Mama" when she was in labor. She actually said "I feel like I'm s**tting a knife!"
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User Comments Follow...
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Having had my hand gripped and shoulder gripped by my wife while she was in the throes of her labor, let me tell you...you almost hit the mark.:) I'm sure the experience is something that would cause the heartiest of men to denigrate themselves into a mass of jelly. Good job. 555
Thank you, Agrimorfee! That must have been a rough experience you had to go through! The truth is that sometimes men I know suffer far worse from labor and childbirth as women do (even though they're not the ones carrying it for 9 months and do the grunt work), even after women give birth. I read in an old article that sometimes men even suffer from depression and lose their attraction as much as their sexual drive towards their wives. Reverting back to your previous comment, I had this friend who went through childbirth and suffered horribly! She cussed her husband out and even bit her husband's hand so hard while he tried to offer his hand for his wife to grip when in pain, not to mention giving him a black eye, too! You had made a pretty good point, Agri! :) Other than that, was your wife all right after that experience? Did her birth go so well?
hehe...after she got the anaesthetic, Daniel popped out, healthy and whole after 2 hours.[BR}
If this subject interests you further search the site for my parodies fom The Who's Tommy, called Mommy. ;)
That's great! I'm so glad it turned out well for both you and your wife! And I am also happy for Daniel, although I havent met him! If I were in that position like the one I wrote in this parody, I would go out of my mind, feeling frazzled and going through hysterical shock! I'll go check out that parody of yours that you mentioned to me. As a matter of fact, I'm going to do it right now! Once again, thanks for that wondrous feedback. At first, I debated to submitting this parody. Tell your buddy B.A. Dave I said hi! :)
Christie, I really love this parody you've done. It's genius. You're well on your way to being added to the author list. Keep it up.
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