-Well, I know you can't just bike and run all your life
-But don't head down there tonight, she said
-You'll just gain weight

And I didn't argue with my bae
But I had a year prepaid
I'd signed up to get fitter
Knew haters gonna hate on it for sure

I had to go to the Crossfit Gym
I had to lift my worth of money
Stereo plays and instructors swears
She's calling me a fool - I'd gotten addicted

Work out, get crossfit yeah
Work out, get ripped tonight
From crossfit wondrously you will get a lot of muscles
And everything on you look all swoll

No more blackened toenails
No more scrotum anti-chafe
God knows that set me back before
So I didn't heed the words she said
I don't need rest days anyways
I'd signed up to get bigger
Though joggers norm'lly hate on that for sure

I have to go to the Crossfit Gym
There they will lift more of my money
Varying reps and meniscus tears
They play me like a fool - I've gotten addicted

Work out, get crossfit yeah
Work out, get ripped tonight
From crossfit uppity you will think you're getting muscles
And everything you big

And I didn't know it would hurt this bad
And I pray for a less sheepled fad
And I'm not sure why we keep at this
But the brainage shrinkage is what it is so-so-soo

So I've signed up for more Crossfit foolery
I'm hurting every day to make worth the moolah
When I'm done I chug a couple of beers
My inside stays cool, and I badly need that

Work out, get tough as nails
Work out, get long-term ails
In gym halls pungency you will cross the kind of fitness
'Makes everything in your stomach turn

*baaaaaaaarf*
*blargh-blargh*
*blargh-blargh*

Some Crossfit people occupy ER beds tonight!

-Baby, don't you head down there tonight, she says
But I can't stay this scrawny all my life