Sweet little princess,
I'm the answer for your distrees,
You alone can do the squeezing,
Just pucker up, go on do your thing,

Oh you can do it,
come on come on come on come on come on come on come on come on,
Lady squeeze that log!

Splash, dash, log that hole,
All you gotta do is soil that bowl,
Let it fall down in the deep end,
Let it be just like your best friend,
So what's one little pinch, one tiny little push?
I'm wanting it so much,
I swear that this porcelin,
Can hold the contents in,
Can't you see the state i'm in?
Press that lever!
Pinch a log!

Get it into your head,
You can use me or soil your bed,
Can't you hear beyond the croaking,
Don't you know that i'm not joking?
You think you won't,
I think you will, yeah yeah,
Don't you know I slipped you a laxative pill,
come on come on come on come on come on come on come on come on,
Lady squeeze that log!

I'll let you, sit atop me,
The relief will surely be great,
You don't have to be afraid,
There's nothing here to hate,
Your friends say, you might like it,
If you lower and commence...
Squeeze that log, and emerge feeling,
Like a prince!

Drop one in the water
Come on baby
pinch a loaf with me!

Get wet get wet get wet!