50 Ways to Kill a Negan

(Sung to 50 Ways to Leave your Lover - Paul Simon)

The problem is that there are zombies everywhere
along with a sociopath that has folks running scared
Say hello to force majeure if you desire to be free
There must be fifty ways to kill a Negan

The first part was putting down Rick Grimes and friends
Negan's full of self but he's only a foul trend
But I'll repeat myself; that bastard needs to meet his end...
There must be fifty ways to kill a Negan
Fifty ways to kill a Negan

Kill him with his bat, Nat
Feed him to the dead, Fred
Have no regrets, Chet!
Just kill him you see
Maul him with a cat, Matt
Don't dwell on this too much
Cut him with an axe, Max
And you'll be Negan free

Watching the season unfolding slowly brings me pain
but it's good to know a war is on again..
Please remind me (as I kill Saviors) that it's not a sin...
Regarding the fifty ways...

You're tired and low on ammo; sleep on it tonight
Come the morning you'll be ready again to fight...
Lock and load; it's time to get that asshole in your sights...
There must be fifty ways to kill a Negan
Fifty ways to kill a Negan

You need to savor the kill, Jill
Make sure there's gore, Lore
Go on be creative, Liv
End his perfidy
Impale him on a sign, Divine
Let him rot in the air, Claire
hang him from a tree, Lee
And get rid of him please

Spear him on a fence, Spence
Cut him into parts, Bart
Don't you dare hesitate, Nate
Just listen to me!
Chew him down with a bus, Gus
Don't you dare get out of touch!
Molten metal on his head, Ted
And no more Negan, you see