You're trashin' up my car, you know it's true
There's Cigarillo char and burn marks too
There's a stain from that vermouth you spilled today
Won't you get a clue

(Yech)

Maybe I can't understand
Just why you can't be careful
Drinks are fallin' from your hand
Splashin' my dash, it's much to my chagrin

Don't you know
There's a wad of raw cookie dough
On the floor, c'mon please
I can't take it anymore

You're trashin' up my car, and it was you
Who got drunk at the bar and had to spew
For some reason my sun roof became the place
That you hurled into

(noo, ohhhhhh noo, it bites)

It's completely out of hand
So I'm tryin' to tell ya
Keep your arse out of my Jeep
Daily, your litter is making it a heap

Man it blows
Now I'm cleanin' up sloppy joes
I am down on my knees
Scrubbin' ketchup off the doors

You're trashin' up my car, it makes me blue
It's really quite bizarre, the things you do
And no matter where I look I'm seein' stains
All because of you

Chocolate on my cruise control
Glovebox full of cheese fondue
And no matter what I do, you strike again
There's no stoppin' you

Partly empty chow mein bowl
Pizza slice, just semi-chewed
And it's started smelling too, it's such a pain
This'll never do

You're trashin' up my car
I'm sayin' "ewwwww"
It's really gone too far, so let's review
There is something wrong with you, are you insane?
And I just might sue

And with all these things you do, I must exclaim
Why'd I marry you?