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Song Parodies -> "They Call Me The Posh Spice"

Original Song Title:

"Where The Wild Roses Grow"

Original Performer:

Nick Cave

Parody Song Title:

"They Call Me The Posh Spice"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

When someone says "fashion" I think "Posh Spice" - and that's not a good thing - although equally dim-witted husband David Beckham obviously thinks it is........oh, and yes I do realise that "custardpie" is not one syllable but, well, you'll understand............(youtube of the Original Song here)
They call me the Posh Spi - ice
and I change outfits thrice a day
but the trick is to accessori - ize
it'll nail you a nice hombre

"From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
we each had a cool...hairstyle
and her tits were as perfect
as the nosejob
she'd recently had to improve her profile"

When he ripped off his shirt
...exposing that chest
my trembling implants heaved a lusty hot grunt
he had quite a six-pack
and when we'd done the act
he wiped up the cream
that ran from my custardpie

They call me the Posh Spi - ice
and I eyebrow-pluck twice a day
I believe it is good for my eye - es
(I can rationalise that way)

"On the second date I found out that she was
more superficial...than any woman I'd met
I said 'Shall we go
where the wild roses grow?'
She said
"I aint toe-flossed yet!"

On the second day he came
with a single red rose
He said 'Give me your love and your passion!'
I said if you buy
me some low-flare Levis
b'fore THEY go completely
out of fashion

They call me the Posh Spi - ice
and my poodle's clipped twice a day
I can't get him more minitiari - ised
I discovered to my dismay

On the third day he took me to the soccer
He bent it like 'him'...and we danced
I said 'NO more bonk-ing
'til you give me a ring'
then HE pulled out this massive rock from his pants

"On the last day I asked her if she'd be my fair wife
She powdered her nose, and said only darl if...
someone gives me a Nan-
-cy Gonzales handbag
and a micro L.B.D. to offset it with"

They call me the Posh Spi - ice
I eat TWO grains of rice a day
tho' to not have to eat would be ni - ice
I so hope they devise a way

I could stop exercising - yay!

I could just moisturise all day

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Invisible Boy - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment've packed a lot of content into this bashing. The verses are tight and each one delivers a laugh. errrr.Stuart...have you spent a whole lot of private...thinking about the Poshster...?
alvin - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
bend her like beckham...perfect parody about such a "perfect" couple
Matthias - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
This spiced up my life.
Kristof Robertson - January 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Two new targets for your acid wit, Stu...great roast of this ridiculous pair. 555
stuart mcarthur - January 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm flummoxed (mental note: use that word in a parody) to see that I've created the nickcave0 parody - what no other Nick Caves on the whole site? anyway, this OS is truly beautiful, so I hope I've introduced some of you to it - and Nick Cave is a friggin artiste!

thanks Invisible Boy, and no not a lot of time, unless a microsecond qualifies ;-) (although to be fair, I thought she was cute in khaki in The Spice Girls Movie, before she met Dave and discovered fashion)

thanks alvin - if you did bend her, she'd either snap, or kink like a hose)

thansk Matty

thanks Kristof - I was hoping you might know the OS, with its Kylie/Nick OZ connection - and I think it hit number 1 in Britain, back in 1996(ish)
Matthias - January 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice mixture of celeberity mockery, and fashion. The only complaint I had with entire thing was that the original song is very boring, but other than that this was a pretty good tabloid from the Amiright tabloidist, Stuart McArthur.
Kristof Robertson - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
(DEC 2.7) See above. A wonderful OS, and it's lilting beauty perfectly clashes with the theme of superficiality in the parody. Bravo!
Agrimorfee - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
(Dec2) As a satirical profile of these celebs, this is a great parody. Good idea to keep the duet-style for the 2 characters. As to its fitting the fashion topic, I don't really see it very well other than the request for Levi's, Nancy Gonzales and LBD (whatever that is).
Arwen - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Decathlon...this is a great little "make fun of Posh" piece, but I do agree with Agri that it's less about fashion than I would have hoped, for this comp. Nicely written, though...and funny!
Phil Alexander - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Stu. Utterly brilliant. I could *so* hear the pair of them (well, to be honest, I think the voices in my head were more Alistair MacGowan and Ronni Ancona than Posh and Becks... but you know what I mean)
Jack Wilson - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
This was awesome! 5s
Below Average Dave ( - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
The whole Posh Spice thing is awesome, I think taking a little jab at the over-pretentious (but albeit talented) woman is always fun
Jeff Reuben - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Two whole grains??? They splurged! Great job making fun of the royal couple :)
stuart mcarthur - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
thanks Matthias - yes it's slow, but definitely improves on a few listens

thanks Kristof for that perfect comment - that was exactly what I was trying to do here

thanks Aggy - yes it was a little off-brief, but I just think fashion and Posh Spice are synonymous - and LBD stands for "little black dress" in the fashion world because every woman has to have one

thanks Arwen - I was hoping it would be a great BIG "make fun of Posh" piece, but I'm happy either way (Posh Spice is my most hated celeb)

thanks Phil - it does help to be British or Aussie with this one, to know the OS, and like I said to Kristof the ridiculousness of those 2 taking the voices for Nick Cave and Kylie was what made it funny for me

thanks Jack :-)

thanks BADave - do you really think she's talented? I'm with you on over-pretentious (she started just pretentious) - she drives me absolutely nuts

thanks Jeff - yeah but I guess the positive is that she'll never have need for the Heimlich manouvre
Below Average Dave ( - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Yes, I do think she's talented, but I am a music lover and so I have a very wide taste. . .she was better before she got hung up on herself, and David Beckham's talent in soccer is much more evident than her performance talent, but for all the annoyance the harmonics of Spice Girls produced, she always had a soft but powerful voice, that blended better than some of her co-stars (though in honesty I think the most talented spice girl was Melanie C (that's sporty spice for spice girls buff). . .all 5 were better solo than together because they were able to focus on their individual octaves, but yeah, I think she has good control over her vocals, and is one of the better live performers among the 5 original Spice Girls (I realize that may not be saying a lot because three of the five really aren't very good live and the Spice Girls as a whole were kind of annoying--but bear with me) . . .I guess for me seeing her poked at was a welcome thing because Posh Spice always plays herself as the innocent background Spice Girl and David's good little wifey, but she's really an over-pretentious diva who needs a bit of a reality check, which you gave to her here.
littleCupCakes - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
555 as it does appear, Sir General MacArthur, that ~POSH~ does indeed drive you absolutely . . . . . . crazy!!

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