I've got three roommates
Do they remember me?
I walk inside
And they don't even say hello
I'm not a talker
But that's just rude to me
I tried so hard
To make some new friends, but they're

Apathetic gamers
Always watching their TV screens
Twenty-four-seven, they ignore me
Antisocial gamers
They make me fall down to my knees
"Waluigi, direct me please!"

An emulator
I bought last Monday night
N-sixty-four
Will my homies like me now?
I see 'em later
But I have so much fright
What will they say
When I say I'm also an

Apathetic gamer
Eyes glued on my computer screen
Twenty-four-seven, no friends for me
Antisocial gamer
Now my social life's history
Will someone bring it back to me?

Hyperactive gamers
More than two hours of time on screens
Help us, dear doctors! Detach us please!
Neo-Nazi gamers
Now I'm more than e'er on my knees
"Sweet Cthulhu, rescue me please!"

Brain-depriving gamer
Gonna help replace window screens
For my part-time job, if I had time
"I'm a virgin" gamer
Now my love life is history
"Sorry, Hayley, I've got no time!"

Blissed out, strung out gamers
Guess the "new drug" is TV screens
Drag us to rehab, and we will pay
Not-so-frugal gamers
Millions in debt! I pray, "Matt,
Lord of fitness, please help me pay!"

Lazy-as-heck gamer
Gonna buy a new laptop screen
But every day, I got apathy