The black limousine now commutes in the night
In the seats sit some fans of Barry Manilow’s light
They’ve paid off some bills and they all feel so proud
They off on a short trip, avoiding the “darker” town crowds

Yes, yo mama suburbanite
Inept chauffeur takes a right
And the fan group entire will get so lost tonight

For their Barry
Their life domestic will cease
They talk loud
Of their plan to visit the fan clubs down East
All the moms gather up their purses
So their joy may be increased
The stimulation, exhalation
He’s like a priest!...

(bla, bla, bla, bla, bla…)
K-Mart clothes and plus size bras
Sentimental old grandmas
Bye limousine, they are dispatched here
All with big grins on their face
The nostalgic guests get ready to take a place

Content drifting in the halls!
Hip-hop tunes through cardboard walls?
Where did they go? Where did they go?

It was a boo-boo coming out to the 'hood
As the street people look on them with great mirth
They hide from the guys as they come into view

Party party on, where’d they go?
Party party on, where’d they go?
Get yer freak on, where’d they go?

Sum non compos mentis!
“Save us, Jesus, save us!
...Find a cab to take us!”

They smell a weird wind drifting around
They become engulfed, slowly like an old el train
Try to take a whiff as it surrounds the stand…
None of them knew, none of them knew…they just smoked pot!

Sum compos mentis!
Will no taxi come rescue us?

Lost in South Side Chicago
All their cash will blow
Looking for the show
Getting high—not so much pissed
Missing Barry’s hugs and kiss
Contemplate how they exist

Crash in a stadium
Oh, so much higher!
Good luck going home
They found there John Mayer!
Rocking it!
They rush the stage, feeling faint

Later in cheap diner booth
(We’re zapped, Snack Attack!)
Chompin’ it, act the goof!
(Bacon with Cheddar Jack!)
Pinch the busboy’s caboose!
(Hey mac, cut me some slack!)
(ha, ha, ha, ha, hardy-har-har!..)

Later they are placing bets
On chickens fighting in five sets
Earn a wad with no regrets
And buy more funny cigarettes!

Officer Diego sees
Ladies buzzed like spastic fleas

Sum non compos mentis!
Actus non facit reum!

He sees the bad guys smelling their blood
As the seniors stand and mug so goofy
So he saves them all and escorts them home himself!

That’s the story
The clouds of THC released
For the crowd
A benediction sung here, at least
All the moms gather up their purses
With their confidence increased
The stimulation, inhalation
Of the ganja when they all go home back East!