Lost connection
A blank screen
Hear a loud “Beep!”
Oh no! What happened?!?!
I’ve gone… Crazy! There’s no DIAL-UP!!!

(Sound of the Old-Skool Internet connection noise)

No Internet!
No Internet!
No Internet!

There’s no Facebook
Or Youtube
Cyberspace
Pad-locked its doors

(Sound of people all around the world
Moaning that their Internet doesn’t work)

“No Web, and I’m getting pissed”

I’m going… Goofy! Without PORN SITES!!!

(The Internet struggles with the connection noise again)
(Matthias shouts and yells at his computer in hopes to make it work)
“DOUCHE!”

(Bill Gates screams)

No Internet!
No Internet!
No Internet!

It’s gone, It’s dead
It’s gone, It’s dead
It’s gone, It’s dead
It’s gone, It’s dead
It’s gone, It’s dead
It’s gone, It’s dead
It’s gone, It’s dead
(Continue into silence)

[Switch on the TV to watch a show about what to do when the Internet goes out…]

(Classical music theme song)

If your Web just dies one day. While you’re at work or you’re at school.
Don’t get mad, follow these steps, there’s a lot

Switch it on and off

If still a no go, check that all the wires aren’t tangled up in a whole bunch
Make separate strands

It’s still not working? Then go onto step 3.
Pick up your phone and call your Web provider and speak quite clear
“My PC’s f*cked up”

Then the Iranian tech guy will tell you
Something mumbled with an bad accent, and make you say, “What?”

Even if you do get very mad, don’t flip out, because he’s helping you

Then once he helps you, if you struggle, take your car and go to Best Buy
And purchase a new PC, and make sure the box is not ripped
Because if someone stole an important cable, you will be back in the same boat

If your brand new PC still doesn’t log on.
You then have the right to get pissed.
Dell dudes are there help you to make amends
They don’t want you to whine and struggle…