-> "Quickly Going Bald"
Original Song Title:
"Slowly Going Deaf"
Parody Song Title:
"Quickly Going Bald"
The Lyrics
In the breeze it used to flow
I looked like Fabio those days
Kept my hair so nice and thick
Had a mullet like a hick
(Yee-hee-haw-haw!)
Scalp was mountainous and my head’s a forest
My reflection had rejoiced
Till I lost it (Was not my choice)
Just what happened to my hair?
It used to stay upon my head
Now I find it in the drain
See Michael Stipe and I both look… the same
People all point and stare
Because… my head’s gotten… so sparse
I’ve gotta look chic, and regrow my hair
(Mop Top, Mop Top)
I’ll try this fur-producing salve
Squeeze ointment, rub it in
From my ears the hairs sproutin’
And… my… scalp’s… still… MIGHTY THIN!!!
Cosmetologist help me!
Cause that’s why you are employed!
I miss that hair I slicked with much… gel and Crisco cream
When you say my head’s destroyed
Forehead is glistening…
My fears… you’re… bringing
Truth is stinging
(Truth is stinging, stinging, Truth is stinging, stinging, Truth is stinging)
Science has now found the key
Use the hair from your butt and knees
And stick it onto where you think
You’ll have hair… before you can wink
(Chopping off hair)
“OUCH!”
Head is stinging
(Head is stinging, stinging, Head is stinging, stinging, Head is stinging)
Not much hair down there I grow
So I’m still bald, it really blows!
Remiss the formation of my once hairy location
(Whisper)
Your hair is ultimate temptation
Sick of wigs and the toupees
Organ donors give to science
Why not give your hair to me?
I’ll just wear hats then I suppose
Or pass Rogaine and squeeze a load
While hair’s my propriety
For now I’ll look like Mr. Clean
The Fab Five Crit-IQUE ON MY HAIR!!!
“Shave it down and take off years…”
“I kinda look like Britney”
(Matthias’s producer calling him from the bathroom)
(Producer)
“Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Can hurt, you know”
(Matthias)
“Just wear a hood
Your bald spot reflects the light”
(Producer)
“Bald jokes cause frustration”
(Matthias)
“Bald jokes are recreation”
(Producer)
“No good”
(Matthias)
“Bald jokes are just plain hip”
(Producer)
“No way”
(Matthias)
“Bald jokes give off fine tips”
(Producer)
“Their trite
And bite
“Bald jokes are finished”
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.3 | |
How Funny: | 4.3 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.3 | |
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Total Votes: | 13 |
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | | 10 | |
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