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Song Parodies -> "Quickly Going Bald"

Original Song Title:

"Slowly Going Deaf"

Original Performer:

Mr. Bungle

Parody Song Title:

"Quickly Going Bald"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Another Mr. Bungle song parodied (Warning the end of this song is quiet, but still disgusting). Here's the OS:
In the breeze it used to flow
I looked like Fabio those days
Kept my hair so nice and thick
Had a mullet like a hick

Scalp was mountainous and my head’s a forest
My reflection had rejoiced
Till I lost it (Was not my choice)

Just what happened to my hair?
It used to stay upon my head
Now I find it in the drain
See Michael Stipe and I both look… the same

People all point and stare
Because… my head’s gotten… so sparse

I’ve gotta look chic, and regrow my hair
(Mop Top, Mop Top)
I’ll try this fur-producing salve
Squeeze ointment, rub it in
From my ears the hairs sproutin’
And… my… scalp’s… still… MIGHTY THIN!!!

Cosmetologist help me!
Cause that’s why you are employed!
I miss that hair I slicked with much… gel and Crisco cream
When you say my head’s destroyed

Forehead is glistening…
My fears… you’re… bringing
Truth is stinging
(Truth is stinging, stinging, Truth is stinging, stinging, Truth is stinging)

Science has now found the key
Use the hair from your butt and knees
And stick it onto where you think
You’ll have hair… before you can wink

(Chopping off hair)

Head is stinging
(Head is stinging, stinging, Head is stinging, stinging, Head is stinging)

Not much hair down there I grow
So I’m still bald, it really blows!
Remiss the formation of my once hairy location

Your hair is ultimate temptation
Sick of wigs and the toupees
Organ donors give to science
Why not give your hair to me?

I’ll just wear hats then I suppose
Or pass Rogaine and squeeze a load
While hair’s my propriety
For now I’ll look like Mr. Clean

The Fab Five Crit-IQUE ON MY HAIR!!!
“Shave it down and take off years…”

“I kinda look like Britney”

(Matthias’s producer calling him from the bathroom)

“Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Bald jokes
Can hurt, you know”

“Just wear a hood
Your bald spot reflects the light”

“Bald jokes cause frustration”

“Bald jokes are recreation”

“No good”

“Bald jokes are just plain hip”

“No way”

“Bald jokes give off fine tips”

“Their trite
And bite
“Bald jokes are finished”

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - April 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny idea and very well done...
Jason - April 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC-Q) Hair-raising effort.
Guy - April 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Don't know who is more hair or hell raising - you with this parody or Mr. Bungle with the OS. This is whacked along with your hair, sir.
Guy - April 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Comment and voting has been done for the "Q" round. Matt - I was having an extremely bad day yesterday and I am very sorry for slamming you as I did. It is all my bad and there is nothing that I can do to ever take those words back and if there were they would be gone.
Red Ant - April 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Ah, Mike Patton's "normal" side, lol. This was a hell of an effort, Matt. Favorite line (amongst many): "Organ donors give to science/ Why not give your hair to me?". 555
Agrimorfee - April 22, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) Good look in scoring a podium on this one, a very difficult song for the uninitiated to listen to! Better revisement for this line: "Scalp was mountainous, head was a forest..." (see the tense usage?). I got lost on some of the meaning in the final parts, but isn't that like a Bungle song? :) 555
Below Average Dave - April 29, 2008 - Report this comment
What is it with this round and horrible OS's, Matthias, I'd rather listen to Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald again than this OS or the one by Nina. . .that's saying a lot. . .but ANYWAY, I think you paced it well, and other than one sudden change in tenses in the beginning, pretty much perfect on structure . . . but please NEVER make me listen to that song again--Please, I BEG YOU
Invisible Boy - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
As Dave mentioned, I too am wondering about some of the OSs in this round.
I mean, to people actually say "I think I'd like to listen to some music...hmmmm...I know...'Slowly Going Deaf by Mr. Bungle'...of every single song ever recorded since the dawn of man...that's the one I want to hear.
Seriously, you did a good job on this write...well done
stuart mcarthur - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) my musical world has been expanded irretrievably during this round (I'm sad to say) - what the? - funny use of the bizarre OS, Matt - fave line: "Just what happened to my hair? It used to stay upon my head" - yeah those ungrateful hairs just take take take then they grow up and leave home don't they - 555

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