First, nice contrast to the original. Second, outstanding innuendo throughout (particularly liked "bitingly" and "penetrating")--glad you weren't penalized for it; hope this one gets bigger and bigger.

Forgot Mr. Martin. Other than that, all 5s.

555 for dealing with such an odd subject matter. I hate calling people dick. I know a woman named fanny, a British army colonel named Bastard (how do his subordinates make up names behind his back I wonder, after all you can't top that?) and a woman who made her fiancee change his name before they were wed. His last name? Topless.

I feel bad for people named Gaylord.......

LOL!!!!!!! Great job!

Great job!

This one hits a little close to home. I almost changed my name for this reason. Plus my father WAS a Dick.

Thanx, C4P & Jackie & Tim!
Jonathan: Damn, you're right. But there are so many Dicks, you're bound to miss one or two. Unless you're, like, Madonna or something.
Laurence: I have an ancestor named Fanny Moon. You got a problem with that?
Billy: Are you a pothead, Focker?

Dick, er, Rick: I was hoping I could call you out with this one. My best friend has the given name Richard but goes by Mark. So I indirectly feel your pain.

There's a guy I work with everyone calls "Stubby". Except me; I figure it's a good way to get punched in the face.

(voted earlier) Swell parody, Spaff. :)

Excellent song Spaff.

Spaff, Well I see you weren't "dickin" around with this one. DKTOS so I can't vote but I appreciate the sentiment. When I was young I had almost all red hair and one big "splotch" area that was PARTICULARLY RED for some reason. My older brother's friends used to see me playing basketball in the driveway and say "Red on the head like the dick on a dog" or call me "Wilt the Bone" (Wilt Chamberlain was called "Wilt the Stilt" at the time). To which my 10 or 11-year old self always had some clever, snappy, repartee to return, such as: "Oh, yeah, well FECK you!!" 2nd story: I did a tax return once for a client at H&R Block whose name was, and I'm not kidding, "Richard Stroker". And he was actually kind of a "Dick". And I REALLY wanted to ask him, "Mr. Stroker, is it alright if I call you 'Dick' ? " But I chickened out... The next year he came into another office where a friend of mine, Orville, happened to be Supervisor. I was sitting at the desk behind Orville's doing research and he says to this "Dick", "Well, I see Paul Robinson did your return last year", fishing for a complement for me. Well, the guy goes, "Yeah, He didn't know diddly", not recognizing me. Well, I start snickering and almost falling out of my chair and Orville turns around with this big, sh*t-eating grin on his face and he's turning bright-red and can hardly keep from just busting up in front of the guy. Of course, I kept making little humming sounds and clicking my pencil and such during the whole interview to make sure Orville didn't have any chance to regain his full composure. I don't think "Dick" even noticed anything was going on. OH...Mr. Stroker, I mean "Dick", if you're reading this, I don't work at Block anymore, but you still are a "Dick". But I didn't disclose any of your confidential tax data to anyone, if you might be worried about that. I might be a wise-ass, but I still have some ethics.

Dick? Are you a crook?

Thanx, Mel & Jeffaroo!
Paul: Richard Stroker. Heh heh. So would you like us to address you as Wilt?
Michaeolopedia: I am not a crook.
C4P: You know it's not "everyone" - it's just that jerk who runs the zip sorter. And if either of you calls me that again, heads are gonna be severed.

Spaff - No, even though at 53 I can still play a little b-ball I'll pass on the "Wilt the Bone" nickname. The original "Wilt" is dead and the "Bone"...well, not dead yet anyway. But thanks for asking...

Cool!

Maea: Thanks!

I'm glad the bone's intact, Wilt, er, Paul.

How did I miss this one? I used to work with a guy named Dick Small. 5-5-5

Pacing:5,Funny Factor:5,Overall :5 Total score:15" (yep,I laughed LONG and HARD!)

Janwin: Just think - on school rolls, he'd be "SMALL Dick." The poor guy's probably become a serial killer.
Tape measure: Come again? (Heh heh.)

I heard about some female singer once whose last name was Gayheart... Great parody, very funny adn all the comments were damn funny too. I especially liked Dick Small (and listed in school rolls as Small, Dick), Mr. Stroker (Is it ok that I call you Dick? LOL!) and mr. Topless, LOL!!! :-)

Your purile innuendo, as Claude Purez so brilliantly pointed out, 'stands out' all through this gem. 'Your name's always Dickless and I got it where it counts'-priceless. I saved this on my 3 and-a-half-inch floppy, hopefully it won't spread a virus!

Once again, you da man. The master of innuendos, double entendres and now proud to be a DICK. Sorry 'bout being so late, I just finished my take on this song, called 'Grinch' which was already done on this site once, but I'm gonna post mine anyway and see how it stacks up. Once again, you da man.

Thanx, Dick Boz & Dick Brattoni & Pnz!

(SOTM) Gee, Spaff, it's a lot smaller than I remember... the total number of ratings, I mean. ...and it's the parody that has me giggling, really it is.

(SOTM) Mr. Spafford, Johnny D(ickhead) thinks this brilliant parody would sound great accompanied by a band member playing his organ. 5-5-5!

JSOTM--Tricky indeed! My favorite song thus far for this contest. 555

JSOTM: This must have been a big job, and hard to write. But you pulled it off! Great parody!
As long as we're trading Dick stories... I knew a man named Dick Forest, whose name inspired the comment: "You're a nymphomaniac's dream."
Also, in the early '90s I played with three dicks at one time (translation: I was in three musical groups whose leaders were all named Dick).

JSOTM this is clever...'But YOUR name's always Dickless and mine's GOT IT WHERE IT COUNTS' lol

To echo what Pat said... that "YOUR name" line stands out

Sweet!!

Still the best Dick song ever. Except for maybe "Can't Find My Penis". Excellent as always, Stubby.

Thanx, Dickrimorfee & Dickagio & Phil Adicksundered & Freaky Deeky!
Mel: Giggle away - it's not the size of the scores, it's the motion of the comments. (Or something defensive like that.)
Johnny Dangle: Spoken like a true organ grinder.
MAD: You have more experience with Dicks than anyone that's commented thus far. (Translation: You have more experience with Dicks than anyone that's commented thus far.)
C4P: You just can't let go of that Stubby thing, can you? Heh heh.

(SOTM) Hilarious as always, but I had to dock you on pacing and overall as I played the song along with it and you are missing the ending bridge and chorus. Bummer, 'cus I was already to pick this as SOTM...

What can I say, this parody still has it where it counts.

LOL, Spaff, do you have an 'extended' version?

sotm--still excellent!

http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=1424;image

Congrats, it's too bad you didn't end up a Goldmember!

Finally read this now... the innuendo is very clever - you're disturbingly good at this :) The Richard Stroker story kinda reminds me of a smug Christian Union guy at my university who wrote to a Uni magazine to "clarify the view of the CU" on Christian dating. He didn't seem to be big on the concept of independent thought... It made me less angry when I considered that the guy's name was Topless.

Thanx, Looney 2nz (again) & Pippin & Jeffaroo (again) & Ralphing Brat (again) - and Johnny Dangle for the lovely medal.
Merry: I've had a number of "radio people" tell me that it's unlikely a parody over two minutes will receive airplay, so I'll occasionally bow to the broadcast gods and cut a verse, bridge, chorus, or combination of the above. (Of course, sometimes I'll just say screw 'em, and write a frickin' novel.)
Sweet Indigo: What a coincidence - I knew a girl named Christian who introduced me to topless dating.

"Now I'm out and proud," and well you should be. Very well done, Spaff. Except, who's Gephardt?

If memory serves, Johnkins, it's this guy:
http://www.internetweekly.org/photo_cartoons/cartoon_democratic_challenge­rs_gephardt.html

... and the ending singers was a particularly nice touch.

Thanx again, 2nz. I asked Andy Dick to take a line there, but he refused. What a...

it's very funny, but how can you judge it without listening to it?

ed: Easy. Just pretend you're deaf.

Gianpaolo: Quack quack.

I served a woman with the last name topless. couldnt stop laughing through the entire refund i was giving, though i was trying my hardest to hold it in

Matt: What a coincidence - I was once served by a woman with that job description.

nice very creative

The taboo sexual meaning of the name "Dick", as well as association with Messrs. Nixon and Simmons, are what keep "Richard" from being a popular name in the US nowadays. Oh, by the way, my dad goes by Dick, and so does my mechanic. 5s.

Yes, I wonder what has happened to Mr Butkus & Lord Cavett ? ?

Muy lexelente, mi General!

Wow - no comments since 2006 and then four in three days? Thanks, white trash & Andria & Votress & TJC! Maybe I'll lean on Robert Lund to record this the next time there's a Dick in the headlines.

Priceless. Love the word play too in this.. don't forget, Australian comedian Chris Franklin sang a parody of this exact song in 2000 - entitled 'Bloke'. I can see P!nk singing this one day maybe from an album called "FTW" :) 10/10.

Thanx, PJ. I won't forget.