He dug a hole today
Played a trick on you
I know but he won't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm a liar underneath
Please believe in me

Yesterday you tried
You decided to go reach the other side
I can understand how you'd be so angry
Your fault you fell in
He's been planning to fool you ever since day one

Dug a ditch, you're a loser
You fell in, motherf-----
He's a sinner, I'm a saint
Don't put the blame on me
He's your hell, I warned you
No fine line in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So watching my TV
Watching baseball games featuring The Baseball Man
Rest assured that when he's pitching to the batters
And he's striking out the teams
Tomorrow, his team wins
So this game won't mean a thing

There's the pitch, there's the batter
He will swing, he will strike-out
Man, that pitcher, he's a saint
He led that team to fame
Throws the ball, hear it scream
The batter he will bean
You know you shouldn't walk him any other way

(Break)

Just when you think you got it all rubbed out
The thing is already returning
It's not so cool, you scratch where you do
And don't try to show me

Got an itch, gotta scratch it
On my crotch, in the middle
Hands don't help, it looks too sick
I do not feel ashamed
It's a pain, in my rear
It's right up in between
You know I should've used Preparation H

There's a bitch, she's a tease
She likes getting on her knees
'Cause you're lone, you turn to her
She's a cop that's undercover
You're so dumb, arrested
You find that she's a guy
You know you wouldn't want it any other way