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Song Parodies -> "Hansel's Crummy Life"
Original Song Title:
"Mambo Number Five"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Lou Bega
Parody Song Title:
"Hansel's Crummy Life"
Parody Written by:
Ethan Mawyer
The Lyrics
now what would possess someone to write to parodies in a night in the middle of finals week? must be insanity
Hour of listening, about Hansel's crummy life
One, two times a week
I get paid to hear about how his life is bleak
A long time ago his parents showed him
The door and pointed into the woods
And they forced him to go in
Bread crumbs should have shown the way
But then birds ate
Them he was afraid
But a sugar shack, full of snacks came out of nowhere
Him and his young sister were hungry and chose to go there
He was almost food for the old hag in this house
He was lucky and just made it out
Now he will cry, and he'll talk about issues
And I'll hand him some tissues
A little bit of phobia of the trees
Afraid to leave the home when it's hard to see
He's really quite afraid of munching sweets
He'll open up the cages of parakeets
Old ladies make him frantic then he cries
Nobody understands it, big surprise
His life is quite a wreck now but that's okay
Whatever makes him blue makes me get paid
Oh
Hansel's crummy life
Problems with trust, his social life's a bust
Since he feels women just
Want him gone or for lunch
He won't touch bread
Says it's no use
He would eat lead
Before chocolate mousse
Can't sleep to well
From the dreams he has
But if I help too much
He will not ever come back
A little bit of phobia of the trees
Afraid to leave the home when it's hard to see
He's really quite afraid of munching sweets
He'll open up the cages of parakeets
Old ladies make him frantic then he cries
Nobody understands it, big surprise
His life is quite a wreck now but that's okay
Whatever makes him blue makes me get paid
Ooh
Money, more money
Hansel's crummy life
A little bit of phobia of the trees
Afraid to leave the home when it's hard to see
He's really quite afraid of munching sweets
He'll open up the cages of parakeets
Old ladies make him frantic then he cries
Nobody understands it, big surprise
His life is quite a wreck now but that's okay
Whatever makes him blue makes me get paid
Time is up
Still nuts, tonight there's a girl that's new
Named Gretel, I think she might
Have some real problems that are like
Hansel's crummy life
One, two times a week
I get paid to hear about how his life is bleak
A long time ago his parents showed him
The door and pointed into the woods
And they forced him to go in
Bread crumbs should have shown the way
But then birds ate
Them he was afraid
But a sugar shack, full of snacks came out of nowhere
Him and his young sister were hungry and chose to go there
He was almost food for the old hag in this house
He was lucky and just made it out
Now he will cry, and he'll talk about issues
And I'll hand him some tissues
A little bit of phobia of the trees
Afraid to leave the home when it's hard to see
He's really quite afraid of munching sweets
He'll open up the cages of parakeets
Old ladies make him frantic then he cries
Nobody understands it, big surprise
His life is quite a wreck now but that's okay
Whatever makes him blue makes me get paid
Oh
Hansel's crummy life
Problems with trust, his social life's a bust
Since he feels women just
Want him gone or for lunch
He won't touch bread
Says it's no use
He would eat lead
Before chocolate mousse
Can't sleep to well
From the dreams he has
But if I help too much
He will not ever come back
A little bit of phobia of the trees
Afraid to leave the home when it's hard to see
He's really quite afraid of munching sweets
He'll open up the cages of parakeets
Old ladies make him frantic then he cries
Nobody understands it, big surprise
His life is quite a wreck now but that's okay
Whatever makes him blue makes me get paid
Ooh
Money, more money
Hansel's crummy life
A little bit of phobia of the trees
Afraid to leave the home when it's hard to see
He's really quite afraid of munching sweets
He'll open up the cages of parakeets
Old ladies make him frantic then he cries
Nobody understands it, big surprise
His life is quite a wreck now but that's okay
Whatever makes him blue makes me get paid
Time is up
Still nuts, tonight there's a girl that's new
Named Gretel, I think she might
Have some real problems that are like
Hansel's crummy life
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Really liked it!
(ABCs) Great concept, but the chorus should have changed each time to make it funnier. 5-4-5
Very creative, especially the "parakeets" line.
(ABCs) Good, but as Jake said, it doesn't reflect as much work as other ABC songs do with the repeated chorus, *not that a repeated chorus is a bad thing* but somebody else probably deserves the vote. 5-5-5
Warmfiya, not quite hotfiya yet.
Hansel's therapist? Very creative concept, E-thang. And this song is quite a challenge to parody (he says pluggingly).
(ABC) Maybe if they changed thier names to John and Margaret they'd work through those problems quicker.... ;-) Excellent work as always.
Very creative. Definitely one of the top songs for the Hs.
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