They called me around 12:13
And said get over here
They needed a detective
Someone got shot in the rear
We couldn't find no evidence
There weren't no bullet shells
The only thing that we could find
Were lingering bad smells.
Ooh no clues.

I woke up to the sound
Of something leaking in my house
I got out of my bed
And accidentally ate a mouse
I peaked into my bathroom
And I saw up in the sink
Was something very interesting
Like a tropical drink. Ooh green ooze.

I called a plumber
Called a friend
Called someone from Pakistan
See if they could find a link
To what's in my bathroom sink
Leaning down and gonna lick
Hope that it won't make me sick
Do you know how it got here
The green ooze?

I went down to the mall
So I could buy myself a treat
Something that's just for me
And something special for my feet
I walked around and didn't find
A single thing at all
Till I came to a sign that said
"1% till fall"
Ooh new shoes.

They asked my color
Asked my size
Asked me if I'd like some fries
They came out with many pairs
Didn't know which ones to wear
Bought the shoes made out of wood
Ate my fries they were kind of good
I prefer the curly kind.

I worked all-day
And worked all night
Gonna go to bed all right
Except one thing that it's not dark
It's daylight it's 1 o'clock
AM PM I don't care
Accidentally lost my hair
What the who where the what
Ouch I got a paper-cut
Need a Band-Aid hey a tick
Look I found some Nestle Quick
Pool of milk really deep
I have got to get some sleep
Go snooze, gonna go snooze!