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Song Parodies -> "Magical Zoology"

Original Song Title:

"Virtual Insanity"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Magical Zoology"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Nothing to end the end of the original Artistry with like a Harry Potter tune. This one is sung by Hagrid to his class.
Oooooooooohhh... Hey hey...

What we're learnin' is...
Fancy fauna

It's the wonderful world of animals
Much more than pigs, giraffes and moles
Some from Hell
And some cast spells
With their plantinum wand tusks
So come check out this sweet dove, It's a bird
That is solid gold
Pixie killer bees

Although they might seem strange to all you kids
The Earth's no normal place and I'm a whiz
So pay attention and you might learn things!
They've got flaming worms right were we live
Grab a book to read and take some notes on these griffins
Cause there will be a quiz

From our
Magical Zoology
I'm unphased
But you
Always seem to flip your lids for
Lochness: Nessie
Monsters aren't mythology
Those three-headed hell hounds
They are found down at the pound

When you're checking out a mermaid's fin
Especially when you're human
You shouldn't grip
It way too tight at least not on first dates
And please note our lobsters
Are often mobsters
In the wild
Down beneath the waves

If what I'm telling you is strange
And you don't like the werewolf change
I think you're better off being a Muggle
It melts your brain!
That unicorns often use canes
They are just stylish creatures it's not that they're crippled

From our
Magical Zoology
There's goblins
Nymphs too
We'll chart them all here on this graph
There's dragons
We'll even study some Yetis
Bigfoot lives in the woods
But he should come if you're good


I'll collect some grout
Near that Gargoyle's snout
It's all magical zoology
Forget that fantasy phonology
You should watch out class
For those man-eating crabs
Oh yeah...
Munch bones, yeah...

House elves mow your lawns

It's this magical zoology I'm teachin' ya'
I'm not deranged
Don't have to be so lame
Get a spider dog
Or a zombie squid
Our magical zoology

Brain whirls...
With nasty hags
They disgust
Disgust me although they too are quite magical
Magical zoology
That we're studyin'
Keep on studyin'
And this magical zoology has some liches

From our
Magical Zoology
And your gaze
Is glued
To this handsome minotaur
It's Bullsh*t?
But it's what your eyes conceive
So class don't have a cow
With his axe you will be plowed

From our
Weird Magical Zoology
Big and small
Some might be stubborn
And they'll shove
Like Basilisks they're mean
So won't plead apologies
And have fangs in their mouth
So your day is headed south
If your chewed

All these pests we put up with
Some have mating songs
For their libido
Jot this note
You might be cursed by
A mummy's laugh
And most things can be cured by
A genie's lamp

Magical zoology is what you're learnin' class
Watch out for Sprites!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

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AFW - May 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Don't get into the Harry Potter stuff, much...but I checked out the original song, is a wild lyric...and you seem to have captured that flavor well in your rewrite..
Blaydeman - June 10, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Lots of fun word play and references in this on. The rhymes were crazy good! The only thing is that you dubbed this a "Harry Potter" parody. A lot of the monster references you used aren't in the Harry Potter universe. I think this would've made more sense as just a monster manual type of thing. If you drop the "Harry Potter" label this still works great and then you wouldn't be mixing universes. Just a note. I still thought it was great though!
Matthias - June 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Well... I tried to leave it open universe where I came up with as many crazy species of mythical and unusual creatures as possible then I remembered that Hagrid taught a subject on this so I thought I might as well work that reference in as well....
Max Power - June 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Hagrid's one of those people who would consider dangerous animals as cute. Remember that spider he raised?
Agrimorfee - June 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Lobsters and mobsters seems like it belongs in some other parody, as great as that couplet is, but this was a fun catalog of supernatural zoology!
Matthias - June 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Really? You're fine with unicorns using canes and man-eating crabs but mobster lobsters draw the line at crazy fantasy for you? I guess to each one's own my man...
Rex - June 15, 2013 - Report this comment
I can picture Hagrid hanging out with Bigfoot. And you've reminded me why I never want to take his class.
bobpiecheese - June 16, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Gotta agree with B-Man that this really doesn't fit into the Harry Potter universe, particularly the mermaid bit (pretty sure Care Of Magical Creatures doesn't include sapient species), but as it's own separate thing, this parody is fantastic! 555!
Chris Bodily TM - June 18, 2013 - Report this comment
(On the Waterfront) Whoa! You lost me at "House elves mow your lawns" and I wasn't able to keep up afterwards. But it was hilarious! I will eventually get to reading HP&TSS for the first time ever, if I can finish Breaking Dawn. 455
Blaydeman - June 30, 2013 - Report this comment
(On the Waterfront) See above ^^^

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