You know what shitake is? Let me tell ya
It's a mushroom that you can eat at home
A frigate is a boat quite small
And a piston helps work the engines on a car, truck or bus
And a dictator, he rules all his world
And when all is told
Sounds naughty
Grit your teeth
Say them slowly
And you can't help but make a titter or sneer
'Cause the words sound like something else you'd hear
But I promise in the pending chorus and verse
There WON'T be a dirty word you'll be hearing in
This Jamiroquai song that I have now rewritten
The thing you're gonna hear is

This song, made of, virtual profanity
Now we just slip through gutter syntax, yes this we have
The ship fits, flicking, it's voodoo wordology
Oh wow, chills up my spine
This whole thing is asinine.

I wrote this song so you would not be bored
Fight against the teeming horde
Got a shih-tzu, and cockatoo, and sweet bichon-frise
All these friends, they warm the...cockles of my heart
They're so wild
In a very special way
My girlfriend has a country stay
Her posse will come save the day
You silly titwillow, brain is like a pigeon
Woo-woo! It's Cubs game day!
Kosuke Fukudome!
Yes he is Japanese, he's the guy who plays in right field

This song's made of virtual profanity
On my trip, to Haw --aii I got a lovely lei, you see their
Snatch a box lunch, get the funk out, golly gee!
Oysters shucked by the pound
The lamb-based hearts came around

They got funny sound
Come and spread it all around
Because it's virtual profanity
Forget the usual profundity
Old sheep flocking, so rad...they are clad, you see
With hose, yeah, on toes, yeah!...
(Pretty bad punning, aint' it?)

(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK WHILE READERS SCRATCH THEIR HEADS)

All this... virtual profanity, I'm spitting it
English is strange, yeah!
Craps...is just a gambling game
And yet we go on
Schlitz, we're drinking it, oh
Oh, virtual profanity! Oh!
A woodpecker's next in range
What a bust! I'll take a peep, looking on
This is virtual, virtual profanity that I'm dealing in
That you're dealing with
A virtual profanity...a crock of ships!

(Yeah...ooh...)

This song's made of virtual profanity
Sneak it,past the FCC, assume tune is bad
Scared spitless, shifting, in our blue jeans a oijou
Jack off hill, on his crown
As holy as a clown

Punning! ...Virtual Profanity!...Punning...Virtual Profanity!...(continuously)

(Got pitch a shift!...Bubble gum you blow!...Crappie fish, man!...Live in a salacious world!)

Virtual profanity is what we're punning on.