Your skin shimmers and it glimmers
Won't as sparkling as a stripper
Like a Cinderella slipper
Those arts and crafts are not touching me

Watched my kids make ornaments
But all that plastic gunk seems so gaudy
Won't let it make me look gawky
I'll use a thirty foot pole to reach
Rainbow boots full of that glitter dust

With one kick there's a huge cloud!
Out on our jaunt... pink prints are found!

Went to check the mail and found
That my ex-wife is evil, She sent me
An envelope that's offending
Cause packed inside was glitter for me

Now my neighbors all giggle, Those jerks
Are singing: "I Feel Pretty"
My business suit got so gritty
I'm blinding their eyes bright as a Christmas Tree, God damn you!

Hate that chick who felt compelled
To send those dots... that I can't quell...
Nasty trick to send pastel
Pieces of sh*t... and so I'll yell...

"I've got a polished sheen!
That plagued my favorite jeans!
That bright plastic has clung
To my brand new shirt and so I'll whine!
It just cost her a dime
To cover me in grime
More junk I'll find
You crossed the line, line..."

So flamboyant, So flamboyant
Hit that hobby shop to upset me!
And showers won't correct me!
I'm gonna ship a pound to your home! (Then you'll groan!)
I'll be joyous when you get
My glitter bombs that will be exploding
Settled the score when they're coating
My divorcee full of fake rupees, It's thrilling me (Ha!)

Now that chick will know my Hell
There's not a spot... I can dispel
Think she's slick casting that spell
But soon her skin... won't seem so swell
(Four, three, two, one...)

---[Glitter Bomb Goes Off]---