Hey, Arlene, take your grandson Kevin,
Check the park and report back right here.
Go, Charlene, check the 7-11.
Someone said they saw him there last year.

‘Cause if we can’t find him in Graceland,
Then he’s in some other place.
We’re the last few true believers,
Call us crazy to our face!

Tell me, where did he go?
I wanna know!
Where did Elvis go?
It says, “Died in seventy-seven” right here.
Golden pants
Don’t stand a chance
‘Cept on our favorite beau.
They found Jesus in a toaster,
Tell me, where did Elvis go?

Poor Wilma, black velvet fell on her heart,
Most depressing greeter in Wal-Mart.
She glimpsed a pompadour, and
Her faith in the King was restored.
He has found immortality!

Oh, ‘cause if anyone deserves endless youth,
It’s the King of Rock and Roll.
Gandhi’s just a foreign hippie,
Dr. King can hit the road!

Tell me, where did he go?
I have to know!
Where’d our Elvis go?
Don’t say, “Probably dead anyway, by now.”
We will find
His great behind
As it turns like a globe.
Search from Memphis to Alaska,
Tell me, where did Elvis go?
(Where did he go?)

(Ooh...)
Check the trailer parks of Utah,
And the farms of Idaho.
(Ooh...)
Someone saw him in the Andes,
Fighting Yetis in the snow.

Today we’ll find him,
Couldn’t sleep all night.
I’m so nervous. Do my
Curlers look all right?

It’s been thirty-three years, still
For our King we yearn.
Hey, look in aisle twenty-seven,
I saw Elvis’s sideburns!

Look, there he goes,
Go get him, Flo!
Down the manhole,
We lost him, no!

(Ooh...)
Yes, we have to find our Elvis,
‘Cause the Martians told us so.
(Ooh...)
Saw him walk into KFC
With the ghost of Jacques Cousteau.
(Ooh...)
Had a rendezvous with Bigfoot,
And kids raised by buffalo.
(Ooh...)
Now we have to tell the tabloids
That we know where Elvis goes!

(Thank you, thank you very much...)