My computer is messed up with parasites
Now I know that a lot of websites
Can be threatening to Windows or the MacIntosh
And I cannot get online right now

And when I clicked links, closed my browser
And now I hate Breathe Heavy Com
For giving me this stupid virus
I just want to get online tonight

And I got lots more bugs than ever
Got more bugs than you could understand
More virus than J-Lo has husband
That last line almost din't pace right

And I'm flooded and flooded with pop-ups
And I never thought I'd get online
This sure feels like a horror movie
Where computers will eat me alive

(Guitar solo)

And I don't want these pop-ups to stop me
From enjoying the great Internet
Now every link seems to be broken
Now it looks like I won't get online

And I don't want the virus to stop me
It prevents me from getting online
The Internet seems to be croakin'
So it looks like I won't get online

And I don't want this stupid-(bleep) virus
'Cause I don't this (strong expletive) at all
Computers were made to be broken
And it looks like I can't get online

Now it looks like I'm finally online
And I guess that this parody's null
And I guess that this spoof is just void
And I guess that this send-up is dead