And even though the girls thought you were bi,
I was surprised today.
I saw the notes you'd never let me see,
Makes me think that you're strange.
Letters that you secretly had sent,
But with a gay pet name.

Now we're in a weird world where it's cool to be gay,
With people in our congress, I'm ashamed.
You can't hide behind me, never in this life,
And I won't tell no one you're gay...
No, I won't tell 'em you're gay.

Bars for homosexuals-you choose,
No girls at either bar,
I heard that your theme song's "Somewhere Out There"
And you think that you're a star,
It's even stranger 'cuz you have a wife,
That's the weirdest thing by far.

You tried to make a pass, and it was directed at me,
The closet door is opened wide, you see.
A homo boy keeps hitting on a frightened homophobe,
But I won't tell no one you're gay...
no I won't tell 'em you're gay
I won't tell 'em you're gay...

You think about me all the time
But I don't feel the the same,
Not cuz' you're homely or you're dumb, but for now,
And I won't tell 'em you're gay.