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Song Parodies -> "Salesman"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

DJ Blaze

The Lyrics

Another good title switch no one else has done. This will be my ABC S entry. Enjoy!
What happened to unlisting?
You just called my place again
You'll steal my cash to spend
I won't buy your dumb vacation!

What happened to privacy?
I get junk mail from those salesmen
I wanna get this through their thick heads
I don't care 'bout their starvation!
Get off the phone!

Won't get my cash, they won't steal my green
Advertising tools and dumb knives
Don't wanna hear a salesman
I don't wanna spend, I want to believe
My number they will never call
Don't wanna hear a salesman

Stop selling me your DVDs
And your cheapo DirecTV
Or that gym to buff up my body
Cause my fat will keep my pants up!

Won't pay any green money
You crack through my security
And what the heck is this new Snuggie?!
Cause I've got blankets of my own!
Don't call my phone!

Won't get my cash, they won't steal my green
Think your stuff enhances my life?
Don't wanna hear a salesman
I won't sign a check, cause those dudes are mean
Their nonstop tactics are so wrong
Don't wanna hear a salesman

Won't get my cash, they won't steal my green
I just want them out of my life
Don't wanna hear a salesman
I won't sign a check, I won't give my green
To fat-cat businessmen, that's wrong!
Don't want annoying salesmen!

Won't swipe my cash, they won't grab my green
Can't you just get offa the line?
I'll never be a salesman
I'm just mad as heck, they just won't believe
They let the phone ring all day long
Enough of stupid salesmen!

I'm done with this rant, they should now believe
That I'll never hear their dope whines
I'll never be a salesman!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Christie Marie M - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Yeah, I know the concepts of a salesman. They can be annoying as well as those telemarketers, because I used to be one, a telemarketer that is. But I'm glad that I'm not working as a telemarketer anymore because I don't ever want to deal with irate customers like that. What's more annoying is those mall kiosk people who's trying to sell cosmetics. They entice/force you to buy their products. They approach me a few times so I just say no thanks and walk past them. Used car salesmen I know are also crooked. Well, I've enjoyed your satire and wish you luck on the ABC S entry! Here's a commission of 55.5% of your profit!
metaphorsbwithu - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Haha! Right on the mark! I've been wondering what happened to that "No not call" list myself. Sometimes I tell them I'm busy but if they give me THEIR home number I'll call them back in the eening. I got a call from OFA just the other day and hung up. Oh well, at least the private sector doesn't threaten to throw you into jail like the government is threatening to do if you don't buy their health care product. :-D 555
Tommy Turtle - September 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Keep a whistle by the phone and blow it hard, into the mouthpiece, as soon as they start their sales pitch. Or if they start with the, "Hi, how are you", start giving them a detailed description of all your woes, inventing as many as you like, and concluding with the fact that you were just contemplating suicide. That one will never call again -- trust me. ;)

Unfortunately, was tripped up into expecting OS theme from James Bond movie, "Goldfinger" - d'oh, me. DKTOS, but if m4 and CMM say it's paced well, that's good enough for me. 555
DJ Blaze - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to CMM, Meta, and Tommy!
Agrimorfee - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Pretty good job, especially for changing the chorus each time.
Guy - October 11, 2009 - Report this comment

Caller ID - The greatest invention since sliced bread. I simply ignore calls that I do not know the ID of the caller. I deal with enough confrontation and I have to disagree with TT and his idea of telling someone that you are contemplating suicide just to get rid of them. Do you know how offensive that would be to the caller if they are a suicide survivor? Yes telemarketers are troublesome but no one deserves to be reminded of something so debilitating and you have no way of knowing anything about the caller.

As for the parody, you have definitely sold me on it. Well done DJ.
DJ Blaze - October 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to Agri and Guy!
bobpiecheese - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) Holy crap, I actually know this song! It was on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4...anyways, great pacing, a lot of great lines - I've never had that kind of call, but when I do, I'll probably just go "Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, that's nice, **** off' and hang up :D 555!
Leo Keough - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(S) Great match with the OS and fine job of execution!!!...555!!!
Abbott Skelding - October 15, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC- I love the original song and you did an excellent job doing this parody! 555
Stuart McArthur - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) not bad DJ - although you didn't technically repeat, the idea was repeated a little too much for an ABC podium - but way to go in venting your spleen
Melanie Lee - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very clever, love the theme! Some decent laughs. I didn't know the OS before but it sounds good, too! Dial 555-ENUF!
Red Ant - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I can't stand telemarketers either. Loved "Cause my fat will keep my pants up!" - belts are overrated.
Below Average Dave - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I could have sworn I've commented on this one before. . I know I've read it. I think it was very fun, and the OS isn't half bad either, it didn't seem to be as free flowing as perhaps it could have been, but I won't nit pick, it was a fun idea about a deserving topic.
Matthias - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Lots of shopping done here in the S-Round! This got my dough as well...
bobpiecheese - December 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(Genre Hero) Still lovin' this one, 555 again! Now about your insurance...(don't kill me) :D

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