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Song Parodies -> "The Cannibalistic Tribe Leader Scolds The Picky Neophyte"

Original Song Title:

"Start Wearing Purple"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Gogol Bordello

Parody Song Title:

"The Cannibalistic Tribe Leader Scolds The Picky Neophyte"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

I based this in some uncharted region of South America sometime in the 1600-1800s.
Start eating people, eating people
Start eating people for me now
Lose your vanity, don’t quit, please don’t be squeamish
I get it—it’s just only your first time

Start eating people, eating people
Start eating people for me now
Join in totally, it fits, you’ll get more mannish
I promise, you will get much fatter in time

I’ve known you since you were untainted, I was sainted
I waited many moons ‘til now
A virile little kid’ll break a slave’s neck
And chew his entrails all around
So yeah, ha!

Start eating people, eating people
Start eating people for me now
The publicity on this I will quite cherish
I promise, because it is now the time

Please try some fried Mapuches with your cocoa
Or have some Incans from high courts, too
Everyone knows that I’m obsessed with pasta
(Oh yeah) since those Italian explorers walked through

Start eating people, eating people
Start eating people for me now
They are like candy, so sweet, here try some Spanish
Now hear this—“Que te gustar a mas tarde!”
So yeah, mm yah, mm yah, mmm yah

Start eating people, eating people
Start eating people for me now
(slowly)
So why don’t you meet me at the temple…
Because the concept is so simple…
Start eating people…for …me…nowwwwww!

[ad lib tribespeople chanting, growling, grunting, munching, slurping]
Come and taste a bit of it, how ‘bout a sandwich?
How come it’s still considered a crime?

So be-oh, be-oh violent on Gretta!
Gotta gotta gotta eat ‘em now!
Hoo-hah! With potatoes, make a good stew, why don’t you?
It’s all post-mortem, so yum yum!
So yeah, ah…
Start eating people, eating people
Start eating people for me now
Make me Proud Pappy, or else you will be banished
I promise, ‘cause people eating’s awf’ly fine!
Copyright 2019. Agrimorfee. Yum, yum, eat-um up. The Yanomami tribe, in particular, have been historically known to eat the remains of deceased loved ones, but I could not wiki any specific tribe known for actively cooking their fellow human beings.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   2
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User Comments

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Matthias - March 29, 2019 - Report this comment
As a fan of all things Horror & Weird & Off putting I fully support this!!
Matthias - March 29, 2019 - Report this comment
I’m amazed by how wildly different ours are and yet there are a few things that remained the same such as us both having a bit of Spanish & I mention some weird tribe too lol
Peter Andersson - March 29, 2019 - Report this comment
It's easy to mix up al dente and ad mortem - could happen to anyone. Loved the tricky title!

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