Baby in the womb puts up a fight
He kicks and punches from inside
You can see I’m shaped like an onion
That’s the reason why you hear me groan

Not too sure who the baby will call dad
Because of all the drinks I’ve had
When I guzzle down beers I’m a ho
So that’s why he’s unknown

Deep hatred of this ugly flannel gown
That I wear because I’m round
From dusk till dawn I wobble around
I’ve lost all grace

Hate pregnancy
Hate pregnancy
Hate pregnancy
Hate pregnancy

Should the room be blue or pink?
Time to get that ultrasound
When my doctor checks on my baby
I will be tightly wound

Twelve times a day I’ve gotta spew
And now I can’t get a tattoo
If I didn’t chug all of that damn Bordeaux
I’d be skinny and cute

I have got to cancel my flights now
While pregnant must stay on the ground
Fetuses can’t stand the change in oxygen displaced

Hate pregnancy!

(Fetus plays a guitar during the solo)

That’s why I have a constant frown
Now that I’ve gained extra pounds
It isn’t fun when the baby crowns I’ll be in pain

Hate pregnancy
Hate pregnancy
Hate pregnancy
Hate pregnancy

Where the hell’s my shining armored knight?
You know the perfect Mr. Right
I really wish I had a husband
Maybe I'll hitch some drunken fool

Yes, I know some women would be glad
To have a tummy that’s not flat
As for me I have stopped making dough
Models aren’t overgrown

So now I’ve got to haul this brat around
My mid-section’s become a mound
I’d be much worse if I was a hound and I’d birth pups

Hate Pregnancy!

Hate Pregnancy!

Wish that I was smart
And strapped a condom on his part