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Song Parodies -> "Santa Avoids Me"

Original Song Title:

"Jesus He Knows Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Genesis

Parody Song Title:

"Santa Avoids Me"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Christmas preparations are underway...

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdcGoBOsaQM
We know he's too fast for radar screens
Crushin' light speed every Christmas
If you're "bad" there's no reward
That makes me mean

He's all over all my next of kin
That's the reason why I'm drinking
They get a visit, ain't it nice
He'd get a piece of me!

He'll bring most everything to braindeads
He will not bring ME even tweed
I don't think it's jolly his laughter
Me I know he's mean

'Cos Santa avoids me
When he flies at night
I've got nothing from Santa, all my life
Oh yes, he 'voids me
When I'm near his sight
And he's been skipping me
Every year, it ain't right

I get back through this parody
Gonna put this longing life behind me
And I've made plans for all the reindeers
Through a hitman good in-flight

I'll get revenge through blood
Unless you run off telling
Yeah, this Yule I'll be a heathen
Time has come tonight

He won't even have to touch my house
I am all soo prepared
I've put mines under YOUR roofing tile
So I can get him there

'Cos Santa avoids me
When he flies at night
I've got nothing from Santa, all my life
Oh yes, he 'voids me
When I'm near his sight
And he's been irking me
For years, it ain't right

Don't tell my next of kins what I'm planning
Ma's gonna tell me that it ain't nice
That I've been gearing up to kick on his testicles
And if I'll hit she's gonna hand him some ice
Come sit near and hear me through
You'd got what I've got you'd do what I'll do

I'm getting no presents
So I'll rip Nick's fancy dress
Yes I'm getting mad 'nough, t' blow him away
You won't find me on his nice-list
'Cos I'm gonna grill the reindeers
And I'm gonna do it nonchalant
Prancer'll make my day

There'll be no sleigh left behind
On the Elfs pepper I'll be spraying
Rudolph's nose will be a phantom limb
Just check YOUR sock when I'm done slaying

'Cos Santa avoids me
When he flies at night
I've got nothing from Santa, all my life
Oh yes, he 'voids me
When I'm near his sight
And he's been skipping me
Every year, it ain't right

(Repeat chorus until the fat man comes)



© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
 1
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 4   1
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 5   5
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - February 06, 2017 - Report this comment
Nothing but coal in your stocking...and 555 from Aggie Claus!
Matthias - February 06, 2017 - Report this comment
This one was a lot of fun and it's cool that both of our Phil Collins parodies were about Christmas time although we're showcasing them in February lol.
bobpiecheese - February 07, 2017 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Pretty good anti-Santa parody, though the repeated choruses kinda drag it down a bit for me. 555 reindeer steaks!
Max Power - February 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Deserves 555 coals to keep it warm.

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