Steam on the window, wet towels on the rack
Blow dry my hair, towel dry my butt crack
Glide on the Speed Stick, put it back on the shelf
Try to trim up my nose hairs, without cutting myself

(CHORUS)

Oh, the rest room
Big shiny sink
We all need a place
To just sit and think
Oh, the rest room
Porcelain and chrome
My favorite room in my home

Powerful toilet, just hear it flush
Whoops, I just knocked in, my old lady's blush
Cuttin' my toe nails, spittin' up phlegm
Two more cups of coffee, then I'm back here again

(CHORUS)

Oh, the rest room
Big shiny sink
We all need a place
To just sit and think
Oh, the rest room
Porcelain and chrome
My favorite room in my home

Oh, the water is blue must mean the johns clean
But when I take a whiz it turns a bright green

(CHORUS)

Oh, the rest room
Big shiny sink
We all need a place
To just sit and think
Oh, the rest room
Porcelain and chrome
My favorite room in my home

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Steam on the window, wet towels on the rack
Blow dry my hair, towel dry my butt crack