Heck, I wasted my time
Waiting for my long hair
It should have grown by now

To be taken in
by an ad for Rogaine
that I saw on TV

Yeah, they fooled me
the Hair Club for Men
said that they could help me

Maybe it will grow out
but I'm sittin here with a bald spot
How smooth it feels
Heck I'd even settle for some peach fuzz

and I cry... hahahayeeay

I said, So long
Oh sweet hair of mine
You were shiny and bright
and indestructible

Nothing I'd rather do
Than run a brush through you
at least 20 strokes

Now, bald on top
I'm kidding myself
That's the way it should be

Maybe it will grow out
but there's way too much in the sink space
It all fell out
Now my perfect hairdo is a goner

I see this guy try to tell me
That if my hair just won't grow
The-en heee'll replace it
with hair
from my
nose

(Oh hair, Hair, soft smooth hair)

Heck, I wasted my time
Waiting for my long hair
It should have grown by now

I was taken in
by an ad for Rogaine
that I saw on TV

Still, bald on top
I'm kidding myself
That's the way it should be

Maybe it will grow now
I blew wads of cash on this hair goop
Still falling out
Yeah my perfect hairdo is a goner

(fade to end)