I've never known a player like Kalou before,
Pass it to Kalou and he won't score,
You see him diving diving diving to the floor,
I've never known a player like Kalou before;

You'll see that if you give Kalou the ball,
He'll strike it with his worth but fail to score,
He gets it in row Z he should be out the door,
And I've never known a player like Kalou before;

He's from some unknown french creole country,
You can't measure his skill catagorically,
He dives like a dolphin in the sea,
So Abramovic must take him to the pharmacy;
And I've never known a player like Kalou before,
Never, never, never, never, never known a player like Kalou before;

Oh god times changed so much,
Good spotsmen don't belong,
To many diving players,
Not enough diving teams,
Now Kalou's come along,
Kalou's come along,
And I've never known a player like Kalou before;
Yeah it's alright x50