At the count of three
I want everybody in here to help me
Blow out my candles before I sneeze
One! Two! Three!

Cut it with the knife, Buddy!
Gimme the curls, gimme the curls, gim-me lots and lots of curls
With the frosting, with the frosting, with the frosting
Must have frosting, must have frosting
Along with curls, along with curls, along with curls
It is my cake, not my sister’s
So I get all the curls and frosting

Some of you are aware, some of you aren’t (Cake! Cake!)
Some of you might whine ‘bout this, and some of you won’t
But today… let me have my cake!
Though it’s not my birthday,
You’ll move over and let me have my cake!

Special dedication going out to the bakery that made my yummy cake
In small-town Ohio
Cake looks yummy, wanna eat, eat it, eat it, eat (my cake!)

The baker spent his profit on chocolate mix
Then bought himself a bag of Pixy Stix
Gave his daughter two or three
‘Cause she’s competing in the Spelling Bee
Practicing words that are much more advanced than my own
In her annoying monotone
Every single day I wait for my cake, I go crazy
Which is sad ‘cause normally I’m lazy
I thought I’d never get my cake ever
That he’d give it to this dude named Trevor
Who would always roam the streets looking for something sweet
Something much sweeter than coconut meat

Now I’m-a grab my fork with the greatest of ease
Stab my cake with it faster than a flock of geese
That is if I don’t have to beg on my knees
Though I’ll just sneak behind anytime I please

Cake! Now! So if you don’t gimme my cake in a timely manner
I’ll be in the slammer, so let me have my cake!
My birthday’s coming soon!
So move over and let me have my cake!
Yeah, just wheel the cake over here
Let me smell it from right here
Gimme the knife, and I’ll cut it right here
Cut me a nice piece

Now if ya’ll wanna see me get angry
If ya’ll wanna see my tantrum, then just ignore my
Cri-i-i-i-i-ies (Cri-i-i-i-i-ies)
But if ya’ll wanna see me happy
If ya’ll wanna see me excited, then just hear me
Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ime (Chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-ime)
Now when I say “cut” you say “now”
Cut (now) cut (now)
Again I’ll say “cut” and you’ll say “now”
Cut (now) cut (now)
Now when I say “let’s” you say “eat”
Let’s (eat) let’s (eat)
Again I’ll say “let’s” you’ll say “eat”
Let’s (eat)
Now when I say “bite” you just take one bite
When I say “bite” you’ll keep your lips tight
When I say “bite” you just take one bite
When I say “bite” you’ll keep your lips tight
BITE!

Everybody at the party
It may not be my birthday yet, but
Just being in my presence calls for a
Celebration of all sorts, so raise your glasses for a
Toast to me

One, two, three, come on now
When I say “bite” you just take one bite
When I say “bite” you’ll keep your lips tight
When I say “bite” you just take one bite
When I say “bite” you’ll keep your lips tight
BITE!

To everybody at the party
Please give enough of a damn to leave plenty of cake for me
Because it is my party and cake
So just move

Over and let me have my cake!
It’s my un-birthday, ha!
So move over and let me have my cake!

Special dedication going out to the bakery
That made my delicious cake
That I shared with you today

That I shared with you (today!)

Lemme get some ice cream to share with you
Special dedication once again going out to the bakery that
Made my cake for this joyous day and helped me get good ice cream
The good ice cream that I got for a nice discount at the nearest Kroger
Got several flavors for a real nice discount
Special dedication going out to those here in attendance tonight
And if you’re real kind, if you’re real kind,
I need some help carrying all my cake to my car trunk

Somebody save the cake curls for me, man!