My mouth's jet black
Gum's filled with dye
"Kick Me" sign left me sprawled
Can's filled with snakes not Peanut Brittle
Stink bombs made my date stall
That powder in my hood made me insane
Since that itch could not be solved
My behind squeaks like I had bad gas
I had bad gas (Gas, gas, gas, gas...)

You wrecked my lunch
One bite and found toothpaste
My ham's tossed down the drain
Electric buzz, I gave your hand a shake
This clever jerk won't quit
Thumbtacks are on my chair
Thus I yelled "Yipes!"
Can't stand this April Fool's Day
Someone calls me and his name's Hugh Jass
Who's this Hugh Jass?!

I-I-I (I-I-I-I-I-I-I) wanna spank you
For stabbing me with a collapsing knife
Ooooh, I'm so peeved at you
For dumping hot sauce into my fife

Push the door and I'll get splashed
Now I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel
That's filled with super glue
And guess what else: My pants fell down, Wow!
You snapped my belt in two
You'll watch me sneer, geeze...

I-I-I'm (I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm) gonna prank you!
That's why I'm sleeping with your hot wife
Ooooh, I'll get back at you
When you see that I cut your brake lines

I-I-I'm (I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm) gonna prank you
You're gonna chuckle with all of your strife
Ooooh, I'm even with you
You yell that "These aren't pranks! These are crimes!"