You say...
That there's nothing to watch
No late night show to watch
And we should fall asleep

You'll say
TV has come between us
Late night has come between us
How can you not care for tv

And I said what about "Late Night With Letterman"
She said , "I think I would rather sleep"
And now I recall, I said, "Let's just watch the monolouge"
And she said, "Why don't you sleep somewhere else"


Friday night - he reads the viewer mail
Dave likes to read mail
Reading mail is cool
Dear Dave... my wife won't let me watch you
What do you think I should do
Dave and Paul both laugh

And I said what about "Late Night With Letterman"
She said, "I think I would rather sleep"
And now I recall, I said, "I like Biff Henderson"
And she said, "Is that show... still even on?"

You say...
That there's nothing to watch
No late night show to look at
And we should fall asleep

You'll say
You don't need a reason
You never have a reason
You just have to give... one

And I said what about "Late Night with Letterman"
She said, "Number 10 your... haircut looks goofy"
And now I recall, I said, "I look like Paul Schaeffer"
And she said, "Number 9, he has more hair"


ohh..
And I said what about "Late Night with Letterman"
She said , "Number 8 you're always home late"
And now I recall, I said, "I had stuff to do today"
And she said, "Number 7, you don't have a job"

And I said what about "Late Night with Letterman"
She said , "Number 6 you... don't fix the sink"
And now I recall, I said, "He was a weatherman"
And she said, "Number 5, all his jokes stink"

And I said what about "Late Night with Letterman"
She said , "Number 4 you... never give compliments"
Now I recall, I said, "I really like your [hit the organ]"
And she said, "Number 3, you yelled at my mom"

And I said what about "Late Night with Letterman"
She said , "Number 2 you leave the seat up"
And now I recall, I said, "That's not a good reason"
And she said, "Number 1, you slept with my best friend"