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Song Parodies -> "(Pageant) Mothers"

Original Song Title:


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Parody Song Title:

"(Pageant) Mothers"

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The Lyrics

I recently caught a show called Toddlers & Tiaras. It's scary stuff. Here is my musical bitchslap to these pathetic psychopaths. OS here:
Put your children up there on display
Dress your children up all creepy mature
Are your brains
On puree?

Can’t you let your kids just live their lives?
They don’t care if their hair’s straight or curled
Oh mothers

Gonna make your daughter a pedo’s delight
For your own damn self-worth
You f*ckers!

You’re vicarious defined
But if you wanna find self-esteem
Maybe try a hunger strike


Can’t you see this isn’t right?
This is not very good parenting
Oh come on, you know it!

These competitions really should be banned
Toddler children shouldn’t be spray tanned
Oh brother!

Put more in their heads than being queen
Why not try out for the spelling bee?
Why bother?

Your kid doesn’t have stage fright
She wants to run like hell and flee
Hopefully she’ll cry and bite—
Till you’re bleeding

I don’t think you’ll see the light
Your kid just wants you to let her be
And that’s why she throws fits

I’m done tryin’ to be polite
This crap doesn’t sit well with me
Just stop whoring out your tyke
This I’m pleading

Now I know you’re not that bright
So you should probably lose custody
And then get your tubes tied tight

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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2Eagle - September 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Welcome to their private hell.
Rob Arndt - September 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Nice "Prostitot" song!!!
Andria - September 28, 2011 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but these pageants should definitely be banned, their only purpose is to legally gratify pedophiles and to make white-trash mothers live the childhood they never had through their kids at the kids' expense. Not to mention that I almost got into a fight with a friend of a friend over whether they should be banned...
Stop The Madness - September 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Ever notice how the news media keep bringing up the issue of who killed Jon Benet? She was exploited by her parents who made her into a cash cow. The exploitation destroyed her deep inside, her soul was already dead or dying by the time she was physically slain. Pageant children are stimuli for sex perverts and a chance to win a stash of dead presidents. I agree, Andria - it's criminal. It's gotta stop.
BabyRuth - September 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Thank you for the 5's and the feedback. I think these pageants should be banned too. The episode I saw of T&T, one of the girls was a dressed up as Julia Roberts' character in Pretty Woman (full hooker gear from the beginning of the movie) and that little girl won! So wrong and gross.
Stop the Madness - September 29, 2011 - Report this comment
When I was in the Navy I heard this "I can change this whore into someone respectable" crap from some sailors in my unit. The "Pretty Woman" movie had the same Sugar Honey Iced Tea line. On top of that, I've been in many large cities inNorth America and I've been accosted by hookers. Nearly NONE of them look as good or glamourous as Julia Roberts and her sidekick do in the unrealistic movie. Having that girl in slut getup win on T&T - that's HORRIBLE! Are these people behind these pageants crazy SMFs or what? Sad sad sad.

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