These are the acts of Fife
These are the acts of Fife

When sheriff Andy Taylor
Tries to right a wrong
He cannot do it by himself
He needs a deputy that's strong

In Mayberry
There's a gateway to crime
Jaywalkers and chicken thieves
Always crossing the line

Remember, Opie

These are the acts of Fife
(On the beat with Barney)
Livin' the lawman's life
(Stakin' bad guys out)

These are the acts of Fife
(Walk the walk with Barney)
Edge of the danger knife
(Gotta stamp crime out)

A hunter of the hunted
A bad dream of the bad
A moonshine maker's biggest fear:
Makin' Barney mad

Then he goes out
Morelli's again
With fancy checkered tablecloths
And haute cuisine

He'll have dessert that night
At Thelma Lou's
Watch a George Raft movie
Take off his shoes

These are the acts of Fife
(Steppin' out with Barney)
Livin' the lawman's life
(Gonna go Dutch treat, ohh)

These are the acts of Fife
(Makin' out with Barney)
Edge of the danger knife
(To the Wildcat beat)

Ooh, ah ooh, ohh

You're gonna do the time, if you drink the shine
Just ask Otis Campbell, Friday night inside the keep
You're gonna do the time, if you drink the shine
Barney tucks him in and, sings him to sleep

These are the acts of Fife
(eee, eee, eee, eep, oh)
Livin' the lawman's life
(ooh, ooh)

These are the acts of Fife
(In the clink with Barney)
Edge of the danger knife
(He'll sing him to sleep)

These are the acts of Fife
(Deputizin' Gomer)
Livin' the lawman's life
(Pyle, Pyle)

These are the acts of Fife
(Suppertime with Aunt Bee)
Livin' the lawman's life
(Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee, Bee)

These are the acts of Fife
(A bullet in his pocket)
Edge of the danger knife
(He's gonna call, he's gonna call Juanita, 'nita)

These are the acts of Fife
(Ahhhhhh)
Livin' the lawman's life
(Oh, oh, oh, ohhh)

These are the acts of Fife
(He's on the beat, he's on the beat, he's on the beat)
Edge of the danger knife