Finger
If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade.

I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything.

I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.
So what's that wad of paper in your hand? Isn't Charmin what we banned?
Were you wiping all the time? Was it just a game to you?

I'm usin' just one sheet. You know I've got a stool like you.
You know I'm just an old folk singer, ah, ha, ha.
Do you want to smell my finger? Do you want to, do you want to,
Do you want to smell my finger?

Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong. I was wrong.
If you, if you could get by, using single-ply,
Things wouldn't be so confused with so much paper being used,
But you always really knew, you can't wipe your poo with two.

I'm usin' just one sheet. You know I've got a stool like you.
You know I'm just an old folk singer, ah, ha, ha.
Do you want to smell my finger? Do you want to, do you want to,
Do you want to smell my finger?

I'm usin' just one sheet. You know I've got a stool like you.
You know I'm just an old folk singer, ah, ha, ha.
Do you want to smell my finger? Do you want to, do you want to,
Do you want to smell my finger?

You know I've got a stool like you.
You know I'm just an old folk singer, ah, ha, ha.
Do you want to smell my finger? Do you want to, do you want to,
Do you want to smell my finger?