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Song Parodies -> "Black Coffee Paradise"
Original Song Title:
"Gangster's Paradise"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Coolio
Parody Song Title:
"Black Coffee Paradise"
Parody Written by:
Annie (Anny)
The Lyrics
For those of us who love coffee, particularly black coffee :) I'm 30 and have been a coffee drinker since I was 14, first starting with double double, then around 24 switching to just milk and now at 30 just black. I still do enjoy the occasional double double though. I don't drink (am on a ton of medication and I don't like the idea of drinking), smoke (ewww) or do drugs (no way!), so coffee is my only vice. Enjoy hopefully.
As I wake in the morning and I'm sweeping my brain
I take a look at my hubz and fancy something plain
But that's just perfect and no problem for me
You know, I don't need fancy things for my morn coffee, see
Drinking coffee in the morning, no need for cows
Simple breakfast of Corn Flakes and sometimes eggs, drool
And I've been eating and enjoying so long that even my friend thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a fan of the cafe, simple discipline
Don't need no fancy stuff, just black coffee is fine
But if I finish all of my food and you finish thine
Then today we're going to drink it like it's 1999
CHORUS:
I been drinking most my life, loving this black coffee paradise
No cream or sugar, that don't bite
Drinking in black coffee paradise
It's some work and sacrifice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
I'll drink joe as a daytime vice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
A local boy needs his coffee, not sweet
I just smiled at him and liked his coffee bleak
Please do smile, show you care
Cause I'll be chatting with friends now while the coffee you smell
But I ain't never punched a customer even if he deserves it
A person with a 'tude, you know that's not cool though
I like to make muffins and wear a paper hat
And my employees agree, you gotta wear black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll afford, don't fear
We find the coffee soulful, great taste is real clear
But the taste is real quaint, so good you'll have to share
It's technologically, quite shared
No need for foam, cream or sweet
Don't need no luxury
I don't really care though
It's as simple as can be
CHORUS:
I've been drinking most my life, loving this black coffee paradise
No cream or sugar, that don't bite
Drinking in black coffee paradise
It's some work and sacrifice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
I'll drink joe as a daytime vice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
Making up the coffee, putting a scoop, another
Made a pot on Monday, now I'll make another
Think you're really pious? Think you're sure at heart?
Well, I know I won't bumble making coffee, worry you shall not
I'm the nicest guy the cafe addicts wanna be like
If you please, I won't sneer I will smile keep you near
So please remain, sit on your heiney
Right here my brother, coffee is not pricey
CHORUS:
I've been drinking most my life
Drinking in this coffee paradise
I'm a happy Gemini
Drinking in this coffee paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Drinking in black coffee paradise
(x2)
I take a look at my hubz and fancy something plain
But that's just perfect and no problem for me
You know, I don't need fancy things for my morn coffee, see
Drinking coffee in the morning, no need for cows
Simple breakfast of Corn Flakes and sometimes eggs, drool
And I've been eating and enjoying so long that even my friend thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a fan of the cafe, simple discipline
Don't need no fancy stuff, just black coffee is fine
But if I finish all of my food and you finish thine
Then today we're going to drink it like it's 1999
CHORUS:
I been drinking most my life, loving this black coffee paradise
No cream or sugar, that don't bite
Drinking in black coffee paradise
It's some work and sacrifice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
I'll drink joe as a daytime vice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
A local boy needs his coffee, not sweet
I just smiled at him and liked his coffee bleak
Please do smile, show you care
Cause I'll be chatting with friends now while the coffee you smell
But I ain't never punched a customer even if he deserves it
A person with a 'tude, you know that's not cool though
I like to make muffins and wear a paper hat
And my employees agree, you gotta wear black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll afford, don't fear
We find the coffee soulful, great taste is real clear
But the taste is real quaint, so good you'll have to share
It's technologically, quite shared
No need for foam, cream or sweet
Don't need no luxury
I don't really care though
It's as simple as can be
CHORUS:
I've been drinking most my life, loving this black coffee paradise
No cream or sugar, that don't bite
Drinking in black coffee paradise
It's some work and sacrifice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
I'll drink joe as a daytime vice
Drinking in black coffee paradise
Making up the coffee, putting a scoop, another
Made a pot on Monday, now I'll make another
Think you're really pious? Think you're sure at heart?
Well, I know I won't bumble making coffee, worry you shall not
I'm the nicest guy the cafe addicts wanna be like
If you please, I won't sneer I will smile keep you near
So please remain, sit on your heiney
Right here my brother, coffee is not pricey
CHORUS:
I've been drinking most my life
Drinking in this coffee paradise
I'm a happy Gemini
Drinking in this coffee paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Drinking in black coffee paradise
(x2)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
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The old Cup of Joe ain't my cup of tea (bad pun), but 5-5-5!
LOL thank you The other Jonathan :) I've been a coffee drinker since I was 14 but even as a baby, in 1986, wanted people's coffee. I used to try pulling my grandpa's coffee towards me when I was a toddler and when I became older, used to enjoy the smell of coffee. Eventually, at 14, I had my own with a friend and loved it. It never stopped my growth though. I'm a very tall 5'10" or 5'11". And I'm 30 now and love black coffee.
I usually order Starbuck's Vanilla Lattes, but 555! I prefer iced coffee to hot.
That was a pretty tall order (badoom tsssh!) for a newbie -- parodying "Gangsta's Paradise". Have you submitted other parodies here, Annie?
Thank you Callmelennie :) Actually, I've been posting parodies here since 2006, so I'm not a newbie. That's why I have my name written like that-Annie (Anny). Just haven't been posting for quite a while considering I've been busy and haven't had ideas until recently. So I'd rather use them than lose them. I still have more ideas so I have more parodies to write. How about you? Have you submitted any parodies here?
And Rob Arndt, thank you for the 5s :) Sounds good, the Vanilla Lattes
I looked for your Author page, Annie and I found one under "Annie" which had several titles about drinking coffee. So I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that's you (;-D) Looks like you posted about 30 parodies between August and October 2015. Right about the time I was off the parody grid because I was recovering from having all my coronary arteries roto-tilled, so I missed you and you missed me. ..... All told, I have 190 submissions in the last five years -- but only 3 when you were having your posting binge
oh my god
Seems to be a combination Coolio/ Weird Al parody. Anyway, well written and funny
Callmelennie-Thank you :) Wow :O 190! That's very impressive. Hopefully you continue to post more parodies here. I love reading people's submissions here as well as writing my own. Will need to come up with more ideas so that I can write more parodies
Omg what? :S John thank you :)
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