As I ride to Byzantium where we’re gonna invade
“I can’t wait ‘till the war,” is what everyone said.
But that’s the only thing that we Goths ever think,
We always wear the color black and never pink.
At 4:30 in the mornin’ I’m sackin’ Spain,
Baldric’s taking Italy, that’s where he’s gonna reign (fool)
But I’ve been fighting and killing so long,
That even Cerdic thinks that my mind is gone.
I am bad, I am mad, I like to break the rules,
I’ve got a spear in my hand and a smile that’s cruel.
But if I make it home before it turns late,
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 378.

We’ve been spendin’ most our lives, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
Our main goal is just to fight, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
There’s lots of sacrifice, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
We’ve got monarchs, serfs, and knights, livin’ in a Gothic paradise

A Frank nearly killed me with his sword last week,
I had a bloody nose and a scar on my cheek.
Of course, as a Goth, I had sought revenge
While I was bleeding on the church’s front ledge.
Yet I will never make a truce with a Viking or a Frank,
A Goth with a Vandal, that’s no slice of cake.
I never wear colors, they make me look fat
But my homies all agree that I look good in black (fool)
If you come to visit, don’t think of bursting in tears,
‘Cause we’ll have you in the stocks for 300 years.
We don’t wash or bathe, so please hold your nose,
That’s just the way a Gothic life goes.

We’ve got frescoes, towers, mosaics,
Those are some of our greatest works.
Here’s a painting of Theodoric, how much will you pay for it?

We’ve been spendin’ most our lives, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
When it comes to Romans, we ain’t nice, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
Nobody ever cries, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
We often pray to Jesus Christ, livin’ in a Gothic paradise

Invading other cities, killing all the Romans,
Wearing lots of crosses, some of us are even part of covens.
Think you’re really tough? Think you have the strength?
Well, I know I have a thousand times more of a speed rate.
I’m the go-to Goth, that the little ones wanna be like,
On my knees day and night, scoring points for Jesus Christ.
If you can’t even stab an oridanry a man, then you just might as well leave our land!

We’ve been spending most our lives, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
We’re always ready with our knives, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
We sell paintings at decent price, livin’ in a Gothic paradise
It’s invading that we like, livin’ a Gothic paradise